Analysis-Paralysis is a common phrase describing the grind that goes on with over analyzing a situation so that a decision or action is never taken, or taken so late, it misses the intended opportunity. The first time I heard a similar expression – “He who hesitates is lost, Esposito!!”- I was a stutter stepping tailback trying to find an open hole in the defense to gain a few yards.

There is a cost to indecision and hesitation.

In organizations, families, and on the individual level, the cost is somewhat the same:
(1) Missed Opportunity. We miss the chance to capitalize on an opportunity. Whether it is a business deciding to acquire a new technology or a spouse deciding “the right time” for an important conversation, the window of opportunity closes pretty fast around the things that matter most.
(2) Drain on Energy. We spend a great deal of physical and emotional energy in the continual cycle of debate, discussion, analysis, and hidden agendas, that when we finally make a decision, we have limited energy to execute on it.
(3) Failure to learn. Benjamin Franklin once said, “The things which hurt, instruct.” In not making a decision, many times we postpone relevant learning and personal growth.

In an effort to encourage more efficient decision making, it is important we face a few realities: In the complexity of life, we rarely have all the necessary information, the facts are not always gathered, and quite often there is not a clear cut answer. Regardless, the situation still demands a decision and an action. If the decision is pretty straight-forward, then we better get in the habit of making them quickly and spending our effort in adding value in more complex areas otherwise we risk being replaced by a computer with an algorithm in work or becoming irrelevant in the home.

Assessing the complex situations and making the tough decisions is what we get paid to do in the workplace and what we are called to do as parents or guardians.

Here are a few suggestions to support and encourage decisiveness in our lives:
(1) Don’t wing it. That may sound counter to the above comments, but when we just “go with our gut,” we run a big risk of becoming “extinct by instinct.” We have a responsibility to be intentional with our effort and that requires thought to determine direction. Winging it is not responsible behavior with respect to the important things in life.
(2) Alignment. Our first checkpoint should be to ensure a potential decision aligns with our intent (insert whatever descriptor you wish to use: mission, purpose, core values, principles, etc.). If a potential decision causes us to compromise our intent, we should quickly and clearly make our “NO” really mean “NO” and move on.
(3) Sooner rather than later. Through a fair amount of very personal one on one discussions with individuals around issues in the workplace or in the home, combined with my own journey in the workplace and at home, most of us “shuffle our feet” too long in the grey zone of “maybe” or “someday” instead of YES or NO today. For the things that matter most, our organizations and our families will be better off with a YES or a NO rather than a “maybe” or a “someday.”

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt

As we efficiently step up and make decisions to get “in the arena” of life, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to reach out full potential.

 

There is a great deal of historical reference and academic research that demonstrate the power of the written word.  Although human civilization survived and grew without the written word, when writing first came into civilized society it provided an accelerant for learning, growth, and innovation.  Writing down thoughts and ideas has been proven to make them more concrete in our minds.  In addition, the written word improves our ability to understand and internalize which will more effectively enable a change in our behavior.

In today’s world there is plenty of advice from personal development “gurus,” life-coaches, kitchen table psychologists, etc. who would tell us that goals not written down or plans that are only talked about rarely materialize into an accomplishment.  Written words enable us time to reflect, think more clearly, and in turn, take action more effectively.

On the issues of personal and professional development, planning, and attempting to have a meaningful impact, I am in the camp that believes without writing things down and revisiting them from time to time, there is little hope that we will make meaningful, measureable progress on any endeavor.  “Winging it” is not a sustainable proposition in today’s world that continues to grow in complexity and intensity.  Written goals and plans help form the foundation for steady progress.

There are two areas of practical application to leverage the power of the written word that I want to address in today’s blog.

(1) A Personal Journal:  Throughout history, there have been numerous examples of people of impact who developed the habit of keeping a journal to help shape their attitudes, reinforce their direction in the important areas of life, and continue to make progress towards reaching their full potential.  There are a number of techniques, tools, and resources available to help us, but at the end of the day, we need choose one that works for us and develop the habit.  It has been proven beneficial to take a few minutes each day to write down some thoughts around pressing issues in our lives, relationships that need strengthening, and personal goals that seem unreachable.  We will be following in the footsteps of some pretty effective people and we should be confident that we will make progress in our ability to have a positive impact.

(2) Written letters to others:  With today’s abundance of online chatter, it should not be lost on anyone that we rarely are givers or receivers of a genuine, well-thought out letter of appreciation, thanks, or encouragement. With the exception of the nice birthday card, holiday greeting, or a line or two of abbreviated text via social media, we probably have not received or given a well thought out letter in a long time.  Some researchers have found that receiving a written word of encouragement is more effective than any other form of communication.

Over time, I have found two helpful reminders that put a little fire under me about personally raising the bar in reaching out to others with a thoughtful and meaningful written letter:

(A) When I look back over certain periods of my professional life, I spent more time and effort writing year-end review comments to team members or writing employee goals than I had in writing a note of encouragement or appreciation to other people in the more lasting areas of my life…perhaps you have too.

(B) Observing the example of others who are raising the bar.  A number of years ago a close friend shared a story with me that has stayed with me and consistently reminds me of how important the written word can be to strengthen relationships.  When he and his siblings went away to college, his father wrote them a letter every single day for four years.  It was not a short letter.  Each letter was a full, single-spaced, two sided piece of paper describing how proud he was of them, that “the family” was behind them, and how he continued to encourage them to reach their potential.  Every day in their mailbox, they received one letter, except for Monday, when they would get two because the mail did not come on Sundays…for four straight years.  My friend described many of the wonderful things their father did for them and their family over the years, but that single act of letter writing throughout their college years which demonstrated such dedication, commitment, and encouragement had the greatest impact during their very formative years.

That story continues to be a good reminder to me and hopefully to you, that we should raise the bar on our efforts and effectiveness with the written word to the people that matter most in our lives.  I can almost guarantee they will appreciate it.

As we build some habits around the importance of the written word, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® for us to be more effective in the essential things in life.

The National Parenting Center recently gathered its panel of some of the world’s most respected authorities in the field of child rearing and development to provide parents with a comprehensive and responsible review of recently released products.  The National Parenting Center’s expert panel released their review of Abundant Harvest for Kids.

We want to thank the expert panel for a very thorough and thoughtful review.  Their comments provide a great summary to guide parents and educators on the intent of Abundant Harvest for Kids.

Please see the link below for the complete review.

http://the-parenting-center.com/abundant-harvest-for-kids/

 

Our world is not short on new ideas or techniques to help us all succeed in achieving our hopes and dreams.  Whether it is a new diet plan that will help us achieve the health we desire, a new idea to open up better communication in a struggling relationship, or maybe it is the new idea to spark excitement and engagement in our organizations, we can always find new ideas to more effectively address our changing world.  Many times these new techniques are ‘just what the doctor ordered’ to help us get moving down the path toward accomplishment.

Even as our world evolves with continuous innovation in the marketplace, our personal lives, and our society, one thing has not changed and likely never will; the first step in achieving our hopes and dreams is to deal with ourselves.  As Plato said more than 2000 years ago, “The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself.”

As we continue on our journey of building and strengthening our character, one of the personal habits we need to develop is taking the most effective first step in dealing with a challenging situation.  When we are faced with a challenging relationship, a personal dilemma, or a challenge in our business, the most effective first step is to look at ourselves.  Unfortunately, we all have a common tendency to look outside of ourselves first to identify the genesis of our problem instead of looking in the mirror.

When our closest relationships begin to struggle, we have a consistent pattern of looking at the other person’s faults and not what we have done to contribute to the problem.  When businesses fail to achieve their potential, there is a strong tendency to develop the list of external events impacting the business and minimize the shortcomings of leadership that does not set clear direction, behaviors that fail to reinforce the desired culture, and the unwillingness to do the hard work of tactical execution.  On some personal areas like our health, we can always blame a busy lifestyle for not getting the proper nutrition or exercise.

Our character is built and strengthened when we can take that first step to look at ourselves in a very authentic and genuine way to find some area of our own contribution to the problem.  As we identify those areas within ourselves and commit to delivering on a plan to improve, the shortcomings of others become a distant thought and any associated anger and frustration is minimized.  We take responsibility for the situation and that is an effective first step on the path to improvement.

As we look to deliver on the first and greatest victory as Plato suggests, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to have a greater impact in our homes, our businesses and our communities.

The National Parenting Center recently gathered its panel of some of the world’s most respected authorities in the field of child rearing and development to provide parents with a comprehensive and responsible review of recently released products.  The National Parenting Center’s expert panel  released their review of Face to Face Teen Edition.

We want to thank the expert panel for a very thorough and thoughtful review.  Their comments provide a great summary to guide parents and educators on the intent of Face to Face Teen Edition.

Please see the link below for the complete review.

http://the-parenting-center.com/face-to-face-teen-edition/

 

The importance of touch does not get a great deal of attention in society and is only now beginning to gain some traction within published, academic research.  As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, an opportunity that we do not want to miss is the positive outcomes that result from touch that can build, strengthen, and heal relationships.

We are all well aware of the physical bonding that happens between a loving parent and a young child.  There is a strong body of evidence to suggest that loving, physical contact at the early stages of a child’s life are critical to his or her physical, mental, and emotional health.  There is a great deal of documentation on the steep rise in infant morbidity and mortality when there is a lack of loving, physical contact during the early development years that has been seen in orphanages around the world. 

The reality is that beyond our infant years, we have a tendency to disregard the emotional and physical benefits that result from touch despite the growing body of research that suggests touch is fundamental to communication, relationships, and overall health.  Michelangelo said, “To touch is to give life” and there is growing recognition that touch is our primary means for communicating compassion.

This message is not some weird call to start grabbing each other.  However, there are many of us who have grown up in western culture where consistent, supportive touch has been so confined to early childhood that we are missing a key element to build, strengthen, and heal our most important relationships.  There are studies that show touch signals safety and trust which are foundational to healthy relationships.  When we take an honest assessment of the relationships we value the most, whether they are struggling or not, we will most likely find we are missing the benefits of a warm, supportive touch on a consistent basis.

This message is not just for the home.  Even if we were fortunate to grow up in a home where touch was reinforced throughout our lives in support of healthy relationships, chances are that societal pressures probably got the best of us in school and work where a supportive pat on the shoulder is sometimes considered out of line.  Studies have shown that teachers who provide a friendly tap on the shoulder increase student engagement and learning.  In my professional journey, I have seen the benefits that a supportive touch on the shoulder can communicate straight to the heart of an individual that they “belong on the team” and that we will work together to deliver results.  It is unfortunate that some foolish, out of hand behavior makes the headlines in work and school which increases our collective resistance to providing the benefits of a supportive, helpful touch.

I would like to leave you with two considerations with regards to the importance of touch and our character:

(1)  “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” (thanks to Ben Franklin). Many of us maybe talking and acting in a very supportive and encouraging way in our close relationships.  However, statistics will show that for most of us, a consistent, supportive touch is not part of the equation.  Given the well-documented benefits to our physical, mental, and emotional health and to the health of the relationship, start being intentional about adding a supportive touch to the mix as it will build relationship strength to help overcome the inevitable challenges that relationships bring throughout life.  Start in the home and then build your courage to take it elsewhere.

(2)  When relationships are struggling, there is most definitely an absence of touch.  Whether it is the struggles of a parent-child relationship, the routine friction between spouses, or ‘the big mistake’ that created a fracture between close friends, a warm, loving touch should be part of our tool box to bring healing and health back to the relationship.  An authentic, genuine embrace can open the door to health more effectively than words and time.  Also, if you happen to be on the receiving end of an embrace to heal a troubled relationship, don’t resist, reciprocate the embrace and you will both be better off for the touch.

As we demonstrate the courage to incorporate touch in our most valued relationships, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to improve the health of our relationships and set a great example for those around us.

 

Yogi Berra once said, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”  I think we all know what Yogi meant…:)

We are all familiar with times in our lives where we stood at that ‘fork in the road’ and needed to make a decision one way or the other.  The decisions span the spectrum from quick and easy to long and incredibly difficult.  The decisions we make and the actions we take to move down one path or another are very relevant opportunities to build and strengthen our character.

Success in various areas of our lives brings about a multitude of ‘fork in the road’ decisions.  If we have success in our careers, there are number of ‘climbing the ladder’ type decisions that need to be made.  If we reach a level of financial success, there are a number of decisions around managing wealth that need to be made.  If we have success in building strong relationships, there are a number of decisions that need to be made to maintain the commitments of lasting, healthy relationships.

In today’s blog, I would like to address the origin of many of our ‘fork in the road’ decisions as it can bring some insight to our efforts of building and strengthening our character.  History demonstrates that for most of us, we only learn and grow through pain, discomfort, and challenge compared to the times we are riding high on the wave of success.  Books are filled with examples of companies that have been blinded by success which eventually resulted in their downfall and examples of great “turnarounds” from the challenges of bankruptcy and potential insolvency.  In close relationships, we really only wake-up and prepare to learn and grow when our world is about to fall apart and our spouse’s bags are packed, compared to the relative calm of a quiet night at home when everyone is well fed, well rested, and the bills are paid.

Discontent and frustration over our current situation is an opportunity waiting to happen.  Discontent is the first step in any value creating endeavor.  The great medical discoveries were born out of frustration and near hopelessness in witnessing suffering and death from disease.  The great challenges of war brought about some of our greatest inventions.  The tremendous frustrations of a growing nation brought about incredible advances in transportation and communication in the most recent 100+ years of our nation’s history.

On a more personal note, when discontent and frustration hits us personally, our ‘inner voice’ that drives our thoughts, decisions, and actions spotlights our character.  When we are at the ‘fork in the road’ of a difficult personal situation, which direction do we turn?

When faced with the normal and unavoidable frustrations between a parent and a growing teenager, which direction do we take?

When faced with the inevitable frustrations between couples, which direction do we take?

When faced with a frustrating manager at work, which direction do we take?

When a teacher in school seems unreasonable and illogical, which direction do we take?

When a missed promotion seems so unfair and politically driven, which direction do we take?

In those difficult times, when discontent accompanies us at the fork in the road, if our thoughts, decisions, and actions are based on principles like courage, honesty, responsibility, and understanding, we build and strengthen our character as we head down the most effective path.  If we let our thoughts, decisions, and actions be guided by anger, apathy, and the death-nail of relationships, contempt, we weaken our character and head down the least effective path.

In the same way that discontent and frustration is the first step in incredible innovation in our world, personal discontent and frustration with the state of a relationship can be the fork in the road where there is a path of opportunity to build and strengthen the relationship and a path to destroying it.  We are responsible for the path we take.

Since there will probably be only a few of us leading the next great wave of global innovation to alleviate the suffering of the masses, the rest of us would be wise to focus most of our effort on choices to build and strengthen our relationships.  When those relationship frustrations occur and we are reminded that we are at that fork in the road, choosing to move down the path of opportunity vs contempt is a choice that will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to improve our relationships and expand our impact.

There is no denying that our world continues to grow in complexity, intensity, and uncertainty.  Given this reality, we have a tendency to think that ‘today is different’ and there is a new set of rules in order to reach our full potential.   History would tell us that there are always evolving techniques that can more effectively move us along the path to reaching our potential.  However, the principles that we can apply as the foundation to our path are timeliness and retain their value regardless of the ‘latest and greatest’ technique or changing environment.

One clear, timeless principle is that effort is the great equalizer in reaching our potential.

Some of us may have had a stronger start in a nurturing, supportive home.  Some of us may have received a better education.  Some of us had stronger relationships that added fuel to our hopes and dreams.  Some of us had mentors in the marketplace that helped us advance a few more steps in our career.  Regardless of these momentary advantages, effort, applied over time, is the great equalizer in reaching our full potential.  Along our journey of life, these momentary advantages seem to ‘seal the deal’ for individuals, but they are not sustaining.  Our effort, applied over time, can sustain us on our journey to reach our full potential.

Most of us hearing this message are leaning forward and giving it all we have in life.  What I want to highlight in this blog is one of the most important risks working against this principle of effort and its correlation to reaching our potential; the risk that derails our effort being the great equalizer to reaching our potential is a dilution of effort.

When academics and practical observers study people and organizations that succeed in reaching great heights, a common characteristic is a focus of effort.  Our greatest risk to the truth that effort is the great equalizer is lack of focus.  Despite how heroic we may think our personal capacity to work, love, and live is, we have limits.  If we dilute our effort across too many fronts, we run the risk of falling short of our potential and being stuck in the middle of the bell-shaped curve of life.  Even marginal effort has been proven to be a drain on our overall effectiveness to reach our full potential.

Here are just a few thoughts on avoiding the dilution of effort risk:

(1) Determine what is essential and make peace with saying “no” to the rest.  Sustaining our effort to reach our full potential is dependent on our discipline to say “yes” to the essential and a clear, unequivocal “no” to everything else.

(2) When we choose to take on another task, another project, another hobby, or invest in another deep relationship, we need to be disciplined to determine what will come off our plate.  The phrase “doing more with less,” popularized in the corporate downsizing trends of this recent recession, is a nice catch-phrase, but the reality is we need to say “no” to more in order to drive greater success on the important tasks.

(3) Let’s not kid ourselves.  The real easy choices are eliminating the simple, mindless time wasters we can all walk easily into from time to time.  Even minimal or “passive” activities are proven to be a drain on effectiveness.  The tough part is once those frivolous energy drainers are gone and we have to cut to the bone on real promising activities, that is when we know we are making solid progress in eliminating the risk of dilution.  One of the most effective questions I have found in assessing business plans and operating plans is “what are you not investing in?”  A business can go in a number of seemingly promising directions and can risk diluting their effort.  The most successful ones make disciplined choices on where they are not going just as much as determining where they are going.  The same question is a good first step for us as individuals to clarify what we are saying “no” to in order to maximize our effort on the things we say “yes” to.

In determining what is essential, here are a few thoughts across the personal and professional sides of life:  (1) No accomplishment in this world can compensate for a failure in the home.  (2) In building an organization, all the great strategic insight and brilliant execution do not produce sustained success when there is a lack of trust.  An honorable culture is critical to sustainability. (3) No individual can sustain a high level of accomplishment without a focus on his/her own character.

Making clear, intentional choices on where we apply our effort will help build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to reach our full potential.

Some of the best insight we can gather on our journey to build and strengthen our character can come in the form of questions.  Throughout my own life’s journey, some of my greatest learnings were when someone asked me a question which allowed me to learn and grow as I attempted to respond.  Many times, the question helped to highlight a weakness or shortcoming that needed to be addressed.  On the contrary, when others just provide the ‘answer’ or tell us ‘what to do,’ they hinder growth and many times create a cycle of dependence on someone else providing the answer or showing us the way.  Questions enable growth and we should embrace them as opportunities instead of disruptions.

I can recall a particularly painful learning in my professional life when I was standing in front of a large group seeking funding for a new opportunity.  After the long presentation, the leader of the business asked me a critical question, “Is this consistent with our strategy?”  That one simple question revealed a great deal of insight and none of it was particularly flattering to me. Did I even know the strategy of our business?  Did I even know what strategy meant?  Did I think that this very successful business and the leader who built it have the wrong strategy?  I could go on, but I think you get the point.  Asking the right question can bring about a great deal of growth instead of just providing the answer.

On a more personal level, I think we all have experienced a moment when we heard something, read something, or observed something that was particularly meaningful to us.  The experience stirred in our hearts a desire to change or incorporate that learning into our lives.   Whether we gained some insight from a speaker, found something helpful in a book, received some relevant comments from a coworker, or a family member’s ‘tough love’ helped us to acknowledge some shortcoming we had not been willing to admit.  When we encounter truth in these experiences, many times we are moved to action.

When we encounter truth and our hearts are stirred to action, asking the right questions will help us to move further along on our journey to build and strengthen our character.   Upon hearing some insight and being moved to change, now is the time to ask two important questions:

(1)        What will I do differently as a result of this insight?

(2)        How will I hold myself accountable to deliver on it?

There are several ways to personalize our answers to these questions, but the basic intent is to clarify the learning, take action, and measure and monitor our progress.  We all have occasions where we knew we encountered truth and were momentarily moved to action, but it did not stick.  We let the ‘feel good’ moment pass and become just another missed opportunity to learn and grow.

Asking the right questions in order to move beyond the ‘feel good’ moment and take action will help build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to continue to learn and grow.  Let’s all keep asking the right questions.

 

Technology continues to expand our ability to get “connected.” As a result, we have more opportunities to stay connected or get reconnected with friends, family, coworkers, and the larger world beyond our neighborhoods.  Staying connected with others meets a strong human need to “belong” in relationship with others.  Ironically, as today’s world gets more connected, we are actually battling greater levels of isolation which runs in a vicious cycle with addiction.

If you speak with someone who leads a Twelve Step program for addicts, a pastor or counselor dealing with similar issues in people who have not yet admitted their addiction, they all will tell you about a common theme in the cycle of addiction, it starts with isolation.  When we experience a period of loneliness or we make certain choices that drive us into isolation, we often reach for a soothing remedy that, if we are not careful, breeds an addiction and the cycle continues.  Our remedy may change, but the cycle continues.

We are all familiar with the addictions that grab the headlines like drugs, alcohol, porn, sex, greed etc.  There are a number of addictions that don’t make great headlines, but we will save them for another blog post.  The process of addiction is pretty much the same; we run into some kind of struggle like poor self-esteem, a broken or troubled relationship, stress when a dream becomes a nightmare, and we move into isolation.  With isolation comes our search for a remedy and when we find it, often it becomes an addiction to help us to avoid the root cause of the struggle.

Addictions fill the void of our need for human connection when we become isolated.  Addictions replace the healthy human bonding that results from face to face, authentic connections where tone of voice, body language, the spoken word, and touch bring warmth, caring, and concern.

Below are two points to consider as our connected world gives rise to isolation and addiction:

(1) Technology will not replace the human need for the healthy bonding that results from face to face connections.  Technology can help bridge the gap that comes with time and distance, but it cannot replace our basic need for the touch and feel of a face to face connection.  We must not let the ease of technology enabled connections lull us into thinking that is all we need.  Ask any grandparent about SKYPE.  It is a great tool to bridge the gap, but it will never replace the hug of a grandchild.  Ask any business traveler or their family at home about FACETIME.  It is a great tool to stay connected from some dark, cold hotel room, but it will never replace the feeling of spending an evening at home.  If we go too long without a face to face connection, the health of our relationships can be at risk.

(2) We need to be careful that the same technology that enables our world to be connected, does not become an enabler of “quick and easy” isolation which then opens the door to addiction.  The risk of this dynamic in the workplace is seen when leaders attempt to lead from email from the comfort of offices and fail to make the effective face to face connections around the office or in the field with sales and service teams.  The ease of communicating electronically can become an addiction that aids avoidance of the tough conversations that leaders need to have face to face in order to sustain a healthy organization.

The greater risk of technology becoming an enabler of “quick and easy” isolation is perhaps in the home. The technology and tools present in today’s homes enable isolation more than ever.  With multiple smart phones, tablets, computers, and “on demand” TV programing, most family members can easily retreat to their own corner of the house.  Despite how busy we all seem to find ourselves, academic research and our own honest assessment of time in our homes would inform us that we still manage to spend a great deal of time with our technology of choice.  It is important to remember during those times we let technology serve our individual desires, we are most likely missing out on improving a connection with a child, a spouse, or a parent.  When times are tough in our homes and relationships are in a real tailspin, the isolation that can come with technology is an easy, comfortable addiction to avoid the hard work of repairing a struggling relationship.

In today’s vernacular, my kids would say, YOLO (You Only Live Once) in addressing the complexities of our connected world.  From some experienced Twelve Step folks, I am sure they would recommend YANA (You Are Not Alone) to help us address the complexities of our connected world.  YANA is a strong reminder to help us minimize our periods of isolation that open the door to addiction.

When we put effort into maintaining healthy connections, we build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to stay connected with others and we build huge barriers to isolation and addiction.