Several months ago I wrote a blog about reaching our full potential.  In that blog, I described that our greatest challenge is to reach our full potential.  It is not winning a certain championship, reaching the corner office, solving some major problem in the world, or getting our kids prepared for life. Our greatest challenge in life is to reach our full potential.

Research would suggest that one of the main hindrances in reaching our potential is that we have a strong tendency to allow what others believe about us to influence how we see ourselves and how we grow relative to our potential.  This common hindrance to reaching our potential is especially strong in our teenage years, but it is also very prevalent in adulthood.

There have been numerous studies over the years that corroborated the evidence documented in the foundational book, Pygmalion in the Classroom, published in 1968 by Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson.   These studies all draw a similar, very simple conclusion; teacher expectations of students play a significant role in students reaching their full academic potential.  It would be misleading to state that teacher expectations determine a student’s success, but the expectations are a huge barrier for students to overcome when they are negative and they are a huge accelerant to growth when they are positive.  Outside of the classroom, there is a similar amount of evidence in the home and the workplace that would draw similar conclusions of parental expectations of children and leaders’ expectations of employees.

The evidence clearly indicates that we, in our roles as parents, teachers, leaders, siblings, etc., have the potential to impact others reaching their full potential.  It is important that we recognize that an aspect of building and strengthening our own character is how we can intentionally support and encourage others to reach their full potential.  As the German writer and statesman, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of being.”

In the course of our lives, we have all probably felt a negative projection, whether directly or indirectly, from a coach, a teacher, a parent, a boss, or spouse that influenced us enough to open the door to self-doubt that maybe we did not have what it takes to achieve a certain goal or dream.  Despite our understanding that we own our choices and we can achieve our dreams, that negative projection was an obstacle we needed to overcome.  The effort, whether small or large, that we devoted to overcoming the obstacle was effort that could have been directed at reaching our full potential.

Given our own personal experience and the scientific evidence that both demonstrate we can either be a hindrance or a helpful hand to another person reaching their full potential, we should see it as an opportunity to build and strengthen our character when we ensure our perceptions and expectations on those closest to us communicate clearly that we believe they can reach great heights and have a great impact.  Our positive expectations of others will help them reach their potential.

Here are just a few suggestions on how we can all keep our expectations turned toward the positive:

(1) Avoid letting our own generational experience drive a negative perception of someone attempting a new technique or proposing a new idea.  I recently had a chance to hear Jeffery Katzenberg, CEO and Co-Founder of Dreamworks Animation, describe the negativity that many individuals in his company had in the transition to computer generated animation because they felt the human side of hand drawn animation was the only effective way to tell a story.  The negative expectations of many of the experienced, hand-drawn illustrators slowed the transition to computer generated animation and put the company’s future at risk.  However, with the incredible success of the company’s first 100% computer generated animation film, Shrek, Dreamworks has never looked back to hand drawn animation again.

(2) Avoid letting our perceptions of the ‘exterior’ override the potential of someone’s heart and desire.  We all have a tendency to allow the looks, the dress, the education, the recent performance, etc., of someone be the driving force behind our positive or negative expectation.  We should refrain judgment on the exterior and begin with a positive expectation as we work to encourage an individual’s desire and effort which, in most cases, will overcome any external shortcoming.

As we bring a positive, hopeful expectation to others, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to encourage others and be an enabler for them to reach their full potential.

“Experience is the mother of all learning,” so the saying goes.  We all have had some defining experiences in our lives.  If we look back, there are probably a few events in our school years that we can still recall having a major impact on our lives.  Whether it was a big championship game or an interaction with a great teacher, we still carry those experiences throughout our adult years.  There are definitely some experiences from our close relationships, probably some positive and some negative, which remain with us as we continue our journey.  Likewise, there are probably experiences in our chosen career that became teachable moments for us and we have carried those lessons with us to this day

During my time in the Army, I certainly had some experiences that stay with me to this day.  I learned a great deal about myself and a great deal about leadership, courage, strategy, and tactics.  When I reflect back on the most significant learning, it was quite simple; the importance to just keeping moving forward.  Whether tired, scared, or confused, just keep moving forward toward your objective.  As an infantryman, with a heavy pack, leading a platoon of soldiers, the pressing call was always to keep moving forward toward the objective.  Whether it was to complete a long, difficult road march, a specific tactical scenario that needed to be mastered in total darkness, or whether it was securing an objective on the battlefield in Iraq.  No matter the ups and downs in that pursuit, there was a clear calling to just keep moving forward no matter what came our way.

Applying the principle to keep moving forward to our general journey of life would remind us that we know what the objectives are in serving our families and serving an organization.  We know there will be unavoidable difficulties and painful experiences that we will encounter.  There will definitely be things we said or did that we genuinely wish we could take back and ‘do over.’  However, there are no ‘do overs’ in the life we are living.  We just need to keep moving forward in the direction of our objective.

It is important that we accept the reality that ‘do overs’ don’t happen in this life.  Many times the damage is done and perhaps only time can bring about some healing.  We cannot ‘re-raise’ our children, ‘re-live’ some difficult moments in relationships, or ‘re-live’ that career choice of 10 years ago.  First impressions cannot be remade.  Mean spirited comments cannot be restated.  Scars, many times, cannot be completely removed.

Life can only be lived in the present moment.  What we have today is a great opportunity to keep moving forward regardless of the pain from the past.  We will build and strengthen our character as we continue to move forward towards our objective and our Character Creates Opportunity® to build healthy relationships and provides us with the best chance to accomplish our hopes and dreams.

Have you ever made a promise or commitment and then failed to deliver on it?  I am sure we all can look back through our own personal history and get a bad feeling feel about a time when we said, “oh yea, I will take care of that” or “when this ‘busy season’ passes, we will get some time together” and then the reality hits that we dropped the ball on keeping the commitment.

Several years ago, I participated in some extensive research to determine what customers felt were the most valuable qualities of a great account manager.   After spending a great amount of time and money on the research, many of the conclusions were pretty consistent with our own experience and ideas; listens well to identify needs, partners around common goals, adds relevant insight on key challenges, etc.  However, the one surprising finding from the research was that there was one quality that superseded all others as the one defining quality that makes a great account manager.  The one quality was simply that the account manager did what they said they were going to do.  They simply follow-up on action items/commitments during routine interactions.

As I look back over my own experiences in business, I can recall a few times when I dropped the ball on a customer commitment and in some cases was not able to repair the damage.  Even more painful than missing on a customer commitment, I can remember missing a few promises at home with my wife and kids; “I will come out and play in a minute, I just need to finish this small project” or “leave it to me, I will make some great plans to reconnect once this road show ends” and like the old Creedence Clearwater Revival song, we all know how the story ends,  Someday Never Comes.  Perhaps some of you can also relate to a few commitments you wish you delivered on at home and in the office.

There is a tremendous opportunity to build and strengthen our character that comes with fulfilling our commitments or in more kid friendly terms, keeping our promises.  Just like that quality that makes a great account manager, a quality that models strong character for those around us is when we keep our promises.  It is important for all of us to take an honest assessment of the commitments we make and put the priority on fulfilling our promises.

A simple, yet tremendously powerful movement has recently sprung up to help and encourage all of us to keep our promises.  Recently, I had the chance to meet the founder of this movement called “because I said I would.”  In the enclosed link/photo, the founder, Alex Sheen, gives an amazing testimony to this movement to keep our commitments.  I would encourage you to watch and listen.  I hope it encourages you, as his presentation did me, to keep our commitments.

When we keep our promises, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to build healthy relationships and set a great example for others to follow.

 

I used the enclosed graphic to make three points: (1) There is no finish line with regards to our impact on the relationships around us.  Even in death, the legacy of our relationships lives on in the lives of those left behind (2) All important relationships endure some significant ups and downs and (3) When we choose to guide our thoughts, decisions, and actions by principles like honesty, compassion, and sacrifice, we strengthen our character and our relationships. When we fail to guide our thoughts, decisions, and actions by those same principles, we weaken our character and our relationships.

It is not uncommon in these types of discussions that the topic of personal sustainability comes up.  How can we sustain our efforts along this journey when we are told (a) there is no finish line (in essence, what is our pace for a race that has no finish line?) (b) there are some significant high points combined with some pretty significant low points, and (c) we need to take responsibility for the relationship even though it “takes two to tango.”

I offered three suggestions to this group to provide them with some support and encouragement to keep moving forward in their journey.  I hope these suggestions can lend some support and encouragement to you.

Stay Humble:  We really do reap what we sow as defined in the Law of the Harvest.  This is a very well-worn, principled path to achievement.  Although life is not always fair, more times than not, if we set a goal, make a plan to achieve that goal, work hard over time on delivering on the plan, we will reap a harvest and accomplish the goal.  We need to be careful not to let the momentum of our success build our pride as we will have a tendency to miss warning signs of pending challenges and our decision making relies on our own track record and fails to take the counsel of others.  If we do not stay humble, the transparency that is our new reality has a tendency to crush our pride in very public and painful ways.  Stay humble.

Stay Hungry:  One of the biggest threats to building and strengthening our character and our relationships is when we get complacent and comfortable.  When we deny the reality that our journey will be filled with ups and downs, we get comfortable and complacent in so-called “good times.”  We fail to spend energy learning and growing in our relationships.  When our bellies are full, the bills are paid, and the sun is shining, we still need to hunger after raising the bar on ourselves and our relationships by delivering on the basics: serving more than taking, understanding more than judging, and listening more than talking.  Stay hungry.

Stay in the Ring:  No one is perfect and we all fall short from time to time.  It is important that we do not quit the fight when we make mistakes.   We should stay in the ring and keep fighting the good fight.  There is no more important game in town than building and strengthening our character and our relationships to have a positive impact along our journey.  Don’t choose to become a spectator, no matter how many times we fall short.  Stay in the ring.

As we stay humble, stay hungry, and stay in the ring, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to strengthen our relationships and have a greater impact in our homes, our businesses, and our communities.

Over the weekend, I reconnected with a friend who is a leadership consultant and executive coach.  He was preparing to meet some clients to discuss the West Point leadership experience and he asked me what were some of the key learnings that I carried with me from West Point into my career in the business world.   I thought my email summary in response to his question would be helpful information as we continue our journey to build and strengthen our character.

The below is a simple “cut and paste” from my email to him.    It is longer than my normal blog posts, but I felt using the entire message made the most sense.

I hope you find the information helpful.

“You are asking a great question…When I think about what I learned and carried with me most from West Point, certainly with time and experience, my thoughts have been further clarified (I don’t think changed) and the core of the learnings are pretty straightforward and transferable to the corporate world:

1. Set the example.
   • At West Point we all lived the “Follow Me” mindset (US Army Infantry motto is “Follow Me”).  You have to be willing to stand up and lead when everyone else is scared, tired, confused, and bullets are flying.  The simple and courageous act of “modeling the way” by standing up and leading into the fire to accomplish a goal was a day in, day out lesson we all learned by doing and by watching others.  The reality is that with the noise, confusion and extreme chaos on a field of battle, the only effective means of communicating and leading a team is to lead by example and that means moving forward into fire to encourage others to move on to the objective with you.
   • In terms of transferring that to corporate life, I think much of the above holds true.  People need to see the leader who his leading the way in terms of character, making principle-based decisions, treating people with dignity and respect, and giving their full, committed effort to accomplishing the objectives.  In the corporate world, the inevitable atmosphere of “politics”, “perception”, “change management process”, “new fresh ideas from management”,  etc. will always be there as a potential hindrance to serving customers and getting things done.  However, it has been my experience, that the leader who humbly and persistently sets the example by mere day in, day out actions, will ensure the organization/team achieves their objectives more times than not.  All the great memos, corporate communications, and employee briefings are important, but it seemed the daily actions of a leader will always be the element that will rally a team to deliver.
2.  Continuously learn and grow (remain teachable).
   • At West Point, there was a tremendous amount of regimented process as you would expect, but inside that regimentation, the situation was always changing and you had to be committed to learn and grow otherwise you would not survive.  As a plebe (freshman) you had a constantly changing set of assigned tasks to support your company. As upperclassmen, you were giving new leadership assignments constantly.  So there was always new people, new situations, etc. that you had to deal with to accomplish the objectives.  In addition, you had a front row seat to constantly observing others in leadership positions so you could be aware of learnings to apply when you were in those positions.  Regular Army training as cadets and also when we graduated gave additional learnings.  The situation in combat is constantly changing and leaders need to be prepared to adjust plans, techniques etc. to accomplish the mission.  Your principles should not change, but the techniques and process need to if you want to survive.  You are learning in both success and failure throughout your time at West Point.  The environment keeps you humble and humility is critical to remain teachable.
   • In the corporate world, there is a whole discipline on effective “change management process” because it is so difficult for people to understand the need to change, embrace it, and then effectively deliver on the needed change.  However, most West Pointers thrive on change as it became a way of life as cadets and Army Officers.  The business world is continuing to grow in uncertainty and intensity.  Competitive threats emerge so quickly, business plans are meaningless in a matter of months, not years like in the past.  Leaders have to be insatiable in the desire to learn, grow and adapt to a very fluid marketplace.  Without a humble and proactive willingness to learn and grow, your leadership and your business will die a quick death in today’s hypercompetitive and fast moving global marketplace.
3. Service to others and a cause greater than oneself
   • The entire West Point experience falls under the umbrella of “service” to our nation, to freedom, and very tactically, service to others in our squads, platoons, and companies.  There is so much written today about having a “true north” or a compass to guide personal growth and organizations.  Service to our nation was that “true north” at West Point and it solidified the sense that our entire journey of life is about something bigger and greater than ourselves.   Tied very directly to that sense of service, was sacrifice.  You cannot have one without the other.  Sacrifices daily that then ultimately prepared one to give the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of freedom.
   • In the corporate world, there seems to be a more consistent drumbeat from leaders about the aspect of service to their people, teams and customers.  However, there is still a strong gravitational pull to “me, my title, my paycheck and my accomplishments” that undergird personal motivation.  In some very practical realities, like paying bills, supporting personal responsibilities, etc. those are important, however, when leaders place those things above the call of service to their people, their customers and the cause of the organization they serve, they are missing a critical element to achieving a sustainable, high performing business.
4. Personal Responsibility
   • As a plebe at West Point, you are told you have only 4 responses for the next 12 months:  ‘Yes, sir’; ‘No, sir’; ‘No excuse, sir’ and ‘Sir, I do not understand.’  The response of ‘no excuse, sir’ day in and day out taught you that you are responsible for your actions and the outcomes.   Throughout the next 12 months, when an upperclassmen would yell, “why isn’t your room prepared for inspection?”, you learned very quickly not to say, “well, I was tired from competing on the sports field all afternoon, being up all night doing homework, and I just did not have time.”  The response you received from the upperclassman to making an excuse like that, ensured you remembered the right answer in the future was, “No excuse, Sir.”  When you stood in dinner formation and were asked, ‘Why aren’t your boots shined?’ and you wanted to say something like, “Well, I have been marching all day in dust, dirt and mud, why do you think they are not shined?”, you learned very quickly that the right response, was ‘No excuse, sir.” That experience taught all of us, that we are responsible, no matter what the situation.
   • In today’s world, in corporations or even in everyday life, there seems to be a consistent sense of excuse making or lack of taking personal responsibility.  I could list numerous examples in the public sector, private sector, and in our homes across the nation, that we seemed to have become comfortable and emotionally “ok” with playing the “blame game” on our situation instead of taking responsibility for my actions and the results they brought about.  What I have carried with me from West Point in my corporate life and frankly, my personal life, as a father and husband, is ‘no excuse, sir’ when things fall short of expectations.  As I stated in the other sections above, that mindset keeps your ego in check and keeps you willing to learn.

Have a great week!”

As we continue to build and strengthen our character, an important topic to address is setting goals and making plans to accomplish our goals. 

For most businesses that desire to exist beyond a few months or a few years, an essential element is setting direction and answering the big questions like “where are we going?” and “how are we going to get there?”  Most businesses conduct detailed work on an annual basis to make funding decisions on plans and many conduct routine, long-range planning sessions to account for investing in the organization’s three to five year plans.

In reflecting back on the personal and professional choices I made over the years, I see a clear pattern where I have spent an incredible amount of time working to develop the plans for businesses and managing the progress towards those goals.  However, I have spent very little time in comparison on setting detailed personal and family goals and specific, measurable steps to achieve them.  I have not been completely negligent in setting goals, however, I have been inconsistent in developing the process for setting goals and the detailed plans to achieve them compared to my professional, “on the job” goal setting process.  After discussions with a number of people, I can see that I am not alone in this reality.

Faced with the sobering reminder that no accomplishment in the workplace could ever compensate for a failure at home, it is important that we develop the rigor around setting personal and family goals and the plans to achieve them.  This planning process is a key aspect of building and strengthening our character.  It will ensure we are putting forth intentional effort to reach our full potential in the only permanent area of our lives, our family.

Personal planning and goal setting is not rocket science.  It is a basic blocking and tackling exercise… allocate some time, think things through, make some decisions, and put things on paper.  There are numerous helpful tools available for free on the internet or in your local library.  There is no shortage of tools to develop a plan.  Many of us just simply fall short with the discipline to do it and work the plan. 

I prefer to address personal plans into some large buckets:

• Near Term Goals (the upcoming calendar year -12 months)
  • Address the four basic needs of us as humans: (1) Spiritual (2) Physical (3) Mental (4) Social (relationships).  Just a few per category that are realistic and “raise the bar” from the prior year.
  • Time: From prior blogs, this section deals with expanding time spent on “important, but not urgent” activities…mostly addressing the four needs above.
  • Financial…always a fun one
  • Career/Profession
• Long Term Goals (the big, bold hopes and dreams) that need steady progress in the near term

There are two learnings that I have come away with over the years in making personal plans:  (1) Be as specific as possible so you can really “see” what you are striving to achieve and (2) Less is more.  Focus on the important stuff and avoid making an endless list of goals that will result in more frustration than motivation.  

As always, a good planning session should begin with some reflection and decision on answering the big questions around a personal vision or purpose that you are working towards.  It is helpful to ensure alignment of next year’s goals with the overall “true north” direction in our lives.

In conclusion, I would just reinforce that life continues to grow in complexity and intensity.  If we just rely on “winging it” in the critical areas of our own personal growth and important relationships, we will most definitely fall short of our full potential. 

Being intentional with our personal life-plan is an important aspect of building and strengthening character and our Character Creates Opportunity® to make a positive impact.

What have you learned in building a personal life-plan?  Please share a comment below.

Welcome to the Character Creates Opportunity blog!

I am David Esposito and I will be writing the content for the blog.

At Harvest Time Partners, we created the brand Character Creates Opportunity to support and encourage our clients with the truth that it is our CHARACTER that enables lasting success in accomplishing our hopes and dreams.

Our world continues to grow in complexity, intensity, and uncertainty.  There are no “Secret Formulas” or “Ten Easy Steps” to lasting success in our uncertain world.  Only our CHARACTER will create the opportunity over time to achieve lasting success, regardless of our environment.  This blog will be a forum to reinforce the importance of CHARACTER in making a positive impact in our relationships and our businesses.

As we move forward with content for this blog, it is important to start with how we, at Harvest Time Partners, define a few key terms:

Character:  Character is our internal compass or internal sense that drives our thoughts, decisions, and actions.  Character is built and strengthened over time by thoughts, decisions, and actions that are based on principles like trust, loyalty, commitment, and perseverance.

Success:  Success is defined as achieving near term goals in a manner that forms the foundation to achieve even greater goals in the future.

In addition, I want to put a few items out on the table as we get started:

(1) I am no expert.  I am on this journey of trying to reach my full potential like everyone else.  I have been blessed with some experiences and learnings that I hope will help others, but at the same time, I look forward to being an active participant on this learning journey.

(2) In the words of Yogi Berra, “It is Déjà vu all over again.”  Or, if you prefer, from the Book of Ecclesiastes, “There is nothing new under sun.”  In the world of personal and professional development, there are new “techniques” that emerge over time to help people deal with certain situations in our changing world, but the principles of lasting success are timeless.   So in many aspects, what I will be communicating in this blog will most likely be concepts you are familiar with from other sources.  I hope to communicate them in a manner that supports and encourages you to be more consistent in applying these truths on your journey to reach your full potential.

One final note, the readers of this blog will most likely be adults.  However, I would like to remind all of us that the development of character begins early in life.

“You know that the beginning is the most important part of any work, especially in the case of a young and tender thing; for that is the time at which the character is being formed and the desired impression is more readily taken…Anything received into the mind at that age is likely to become indelible and unalterable; and therefore it is most important that the tales which the young first hear should be models of virtuous thoughts…”  Plato’s Republic

I would encourage you to share the content from this blog and the concept that Character Creates Opportunity with children and adolescents.

Thank you for participating in the journey to build and strengthen character.

If you would like to leave a comment, please do so below.