I am sure we can all relate to the strategy of cramming to study for that big end of semester exam.  We kind of paid attention throughout the semester, but in the end, we believe an all-night session of studying will be an effective option to make up for a semester in which we did not give our full attention.

More often than not, we probably found that despite all the warnings of how ineffective the cramming strategy was to learning, we experienced that cramming for an exam seemed to result in the outcome we needed for the moment in that we passed the test and the course.

Unfortunately for many of us, we continually employ the cramming strategy we learned in school to solve many of life’s pressing challenges.  We cram in a great deal of catching up on relationships with that much needed date night and family vacation to shore up those critical, close relationships.  We provide the all-encompassing life-skills speech as we prepare children to leave the home for summer camp, college, or to move out on their own.  We have that upcoming reunion, wedding, or annual health check-up and we figure we can starve our way into losing that much needed weight in the last few weeks before the event.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, it is important that we face the reality that we will fall short of our full potential if we deploy the cramming strategy to the really important things in life.

Building and sustaining a healthy relationship is not built on that one weekend get-away to rekindle love and caring.

Preparing children for life outside of “home sweet home” is not accomplished in a 15 minute send-off speech prior to that all too sudden good-bye.

Maintaining optimal health is not accomplished with the occasional crash diet and two week exercise routine.

Achieving financial freedom is not established through that one great idea for a get rich quick scheme.

The really important things in life will always be judged by one of the most critical guiding principles of life, the Law of the Harvest. Simply, we reap what we sow.

The law of the harvest in the natural world is as true as the law of gravity.  If we want to reap an abundant harvest of corn or soybeans, there is only one pathway to follow: The Law of the Harvest.  If we asked any farmer 2,000 years ago or one today in the fields of Nebraska, we would get the same general response.  There are no shortcuts to an abundant harvest.

We cannot vacation in the spring and summer and then deploy our cramming strategy for an entire growing season into September.  There is no way to pay for the “Speed Pass” lane on the farm and there is no “Easy” button.  The natural law of the harvest will always be our judge.  Just like the law of gravity governs our eventual return to the ground no matter how high we jump, the law of the harvest governs our ability to produce our most essential food sources for life.  In addition, the law of the harvest governs our ability to reach our full potential in the most important areas of our lives.

When we face the reality that the cramming strategy we deployed in school will not produce the abundance we desire in the important areas of life and we take meaningful steps overtime to reap an abundant harvest, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to reach our full potential and have a positive impact on those around us.

The clock is ticking all around us.  We have a time schedule to keep in order to catch the train in the morning, to complete a project by the deadline, to graduate on time, to finish that much needed project around the house, and the list could go on.

If we are not very thoughtful and intentional about the schedules we keep and projects we place on plate, we can end up just running, or just living, from one timeline after another.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, there is a worthy timeline that often goes undetected but can make all the difference in our ability to have a positive impact on those around us.

We all experience frustration and disappoint in our lives.  Discontent is very often the first step in the creation of anything of value.  As a matter of fact, academic research and our own experience would demonstrate that we really only move in the direction of making meaningful change when we are absolutely fed up with our current situation.

A worthy timeline that often goes unchecked is the time between our initial sense that change needs to happen and the time we actually begin to make meaningful progress to bring about the change. In reality, sometimes that timeline can go on forever on the most meaningful things in our lives.

The time we realize we need to continue our education, formally or informally, to remain relevant in today’s job market.  The time we realize our family life is revolving around schedules and it has been a long time since we had a meaningful connection.  The time we realize our waistline is growing at an unhealthy pace.  The time we realize we need to get our household budget under control.  The time we realize our anger has dampened the joy in our home.

The time we realize we need to make a change and when we actual starting making progress towards the desired change is a timeline worthy of our attention.

When the gap in time gets too long, we move quickly from the ranks of the self-aware focused on reaching our potential to the ranks of complainers and excuse makers.  When the timeline gets too long, eventually those around us realize we really don’t care enough to change and then trustworthiness falls.  Soon we are on a short timeline to becoming irrelevant and losing our ability to have a positive impact on those around us.

We need to be careful that the old Credence Clearwater Revival song about “someday never comes” does not become an anthem for some of the most needed changes in our lives.

As we realize the need for change in our lives and we very efficiently start making progress in the right direction, we build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to reach our full potential and have a positive impact on those around us.

Throughout life we will experience disappointment.

Sometimes we experience disappointment in the classroom, the workplace, our home life, and our community. These disappointments can vary in degree from the slight disappointment that rain caused the game to be delayed or our drive-thru order was missing some fries, to the significant disappointment that turns to heartache and despair when the dream of a close knit family is now facing the reality of a deep, challenging family conflict.

Although we all wish to avoid a great deal of disappointment in this world, the reality is that we all will have our turn with disappointment.  Most of us will find a way to move through it, some in silence and some with a loud roar.  There is no escaping disappointment.  Our well-worn path to address disappointment is to rally our own strength, perhaps we are fortunate to gain some encouragement from others and our faith, and we endure with the hope that we will continue to grow stronger through the experience.

Many times, our initial reaction when it is our turn with disappointment is to focus on our own our pain. Given the extent of the situation, it may be a very real and practical response to focus on our own psychological survival.

However, as we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, there are a few additional responses beyond focusing on ourselves that can bring about a positive impact when it is our turn with disappointment.

First, our personal experience with disappointment allows us the opportunity to build empathy towards others walking through a similar valley.  We can become a credible source of understanding to others with each and every time it is our turn with disappointment.  Those around us do experience a level of disappointment at certain times in their lives and we can effectively build an authentic and helpful connection with others through our own journey with disappointments.

Second, our personal experience with disappointment allows us the opportunity to build humility in realizing that everything is not in our control.  We can keep our thought life strong, we can make effective choices, but we do not control the final outcome.  We can only control our response to that outcome.  It takes “two to tango” and there are often times a great deal of factors that can impact the outcome.  Make no mistake, we need to always take responsibility for the outcome. However, building humility in realizing we are not in total control of everything strengthens the opportunity to build genuine connection to others around the reality that we are stronger together than we are alone.  Despite the persona of how macho it is to “John Wayne” it all alone, we are much more effective in this world when we build a force of interdependence among families, partnerships at work and in the community.

Third, our personal experience with disappointment reminds us to be thankful for the little things.  Psychologists, pastors, and friends would all say that being thankful for the small blessings in life is a sure way to maintain our mental health throughout the inevitable chaos and challenge of life.  Whether it is enjoying a sunrise or a sunset along with the fact that we had one more day with those we care about most, gratefulness for the little things will help us when it is our turn with disappointment.

As we put effort into more effectively dealing with disappointment in our lives, we build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to have a positive impact on those around us.

Let’s face it, there is a lot of chatter in our world.  Whether it is on the television, through the internet, in various social settings, at work, etc.  We hear a lot of chatter.

With so much noise and information around us (along with less than an optimal amount of sleep), we have a natural coping mechanism to just tune things out or engage in very superficial dialogue without truly listening.  Our most common reaction is to sit still and endure it, just like we did doing a boring class in school.

Many times, our filtering mechanism for all the chatter goes overboard and we lose the important skill of really listening when it matters most.  As we continue our journey to build and strengthen our character, the discipline to listen is an important element for having a positive impact on those around us.

Many psychologists would say that there is an unfortunate pattern for many of us in that we can carry on, with a pleasant disposition, our activities outside of the home whether that is with friends, at school, work, or various social activities.  We seem to blend in well and minimize or eliminate any attempts to rock the boat.  However, when it comes to our home life, the description of most family therapists, pastors, and relationship experts would commonly say that it is in the home where the disposition changes, the willingness to endure weakens and many times, all you know what breaks loose.

The same can be said about listening.  Many times, we take a more active role in listening to a customer, a colleague at work, a friend on the street, or even that really boring teacher, but when it comes to those closest to us, we are relatively quick to downgrade our listen skills.

There is no doubt that the volume of information coming at us will continue to increase over time.  Very few of us would find “getting off the grid” to be a productive solution to our problems with listening.  Given this reality of increasing information and noise in our world, we need to take hold of a few truths about the importance of listening in order to have a positive impact on those around us.

1. Listening shows others that we care. Asking questions to ensure understanding, maintaining eye contract, acknowledging the information being shared, etc. takes effort and focus.
2. Listening is the gateway to understanding. Improved understanding helps us see through the veil of “I am ok” to uncover the real issues impacting someone around us.
3. We can’t listen to everything or everybody. The reality is that there is a lot of noise out there that needs to be filtered.  We should choose to filter most of it in order to focus our efforts on those we care about most.

As we do the hard work of listening, especially with those closest to us in our home, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and our Character Creates Opportunity^® to have a positive impact on those around us.

Whether it is assessing students in the classroom, employees at work, or relationships at home, there is a consistent and important debate that happens around what it takes to reach one’s full potential.

A great deal of the debate revolves around the idea of nature or nurture.  Basically, is my potential governed by some hard-wiring at birth or is my collective life experience the major driver of my potential.

This debate, in some form or fashion, has been around for thousands of years and will continue to be carried out by wise and well-intentioned people throughout our lives.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, in our daily lives we come to realize that our potential is neither about our nature or the nurturing we did or did not receive.  Our potential is a product of the choices we make today.

The choices we make on what we believe about ourselves and how we respond to various situations are the major drivers of reaching our full potential.

However……It is incredibly important that we gain understanding about some of the deep seated beliefs we have about ourselves that may be concealed from the busy day to day reality of our lives.

The enclosed video link is one of the most viewed videos on YouTube having been viewed over 65 million times.  It touches on the very foundation of what we believe about ourselves.  Even though it is delivered from a female perspective, the essence of the message covers both genders.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk

Whether it is the reality that we are more beautiful than we think, stronger than we think, more capable than we think, or more helpful than we think, what we believe about ourselves matters in our desire to reach our full potential.

There are two helpful action steps in addressing the reality that we all have some deep seated beliefs that over the years may go unnoticed.

• Tell someone they are more beautiful than they think, stronger than they think, more capable than they think, or more helpful than they think. The reality is that we all could use the encouragement and we are just the right person to step up and fulfill the need.
• On a personal level, our unique life situation will at some points on our journey face the reality than no one may be around to remind us that we are better than we think. In those times, we need to rally hope from a source like our memory of someone who believed in us, our faith, a reminder of our past ability to overcome, in order to muster the strength to keep moving forward.

As we make the choice to believe we are more than we think and encourage others that they are more than they believe, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and our Character Creates Opportunity^® to reach our full potential help others do the same.

In our consumer driven marketplace, it is sometimes difficult to avoid the big sales pitch being made by products or services that promise to change us for the better.  Whether it is the latest diet plan bringing meals to our front door, a fitness craze that seems to work for everyone, a proven business building program or perhaps that relationship improvement program that can solve our most struggling personal relationships.

We all, at some level, desire to make forward progress in the important areas of our lives.  Discontent with our present situation is always the first step in bringing about positive change.  Psychologists will often say that we really only work effectively to bring about change when our level of frustration and pain with our present situation reaches a level that makes the thought of trying something new seem not so bad.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, there is a reality check around bringing about significant positive change in our lives that we all could use an occasional reminder of every now and then.

The reality is that both academic research and our own personal experience would remind us that bringing about significant positive change in our lives is not about the next biggest, greatest idea, it is about small, consistent acts over time that lead to significant milestones being accomplished.

Small acts matter in bringing about major change in our lives.

The biggest thing we can do to bring about positive and meaningful change in the important areas of life is to take small steps in the right direction.

As the well-known USC professor and psychologist (more affectionately known as the Italian Love Doctor), Leo Buscaglia (1924-1998) once said, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

The same principle that Buscaglia described in his research that was the cornerstone to improving relationships, mainly that small acts matter, is the same principle that applies to other important areas of our lives and personal development.

As we all have the desire to bring about positive change in important areas of our lives, while we wait and hope for the next great idea to energize our efforts, we should begin to take the initiative to start small and take a few steps in the right direction.  In the end, regardless of the next big idea, it will always be the small acts that matter in sustaining positive change in our lives.

Here are a few ideas on small acts that matter in some important areas:

Money and savings:  Put aside a small amount each paycheck for that rainy day fund.  It does not matter the amount, it is the small act of saving consistently that matters.  The old penny jar we had as kids can always be a good place to start.

Relationship struggles:  Perhaps it is time to simply shut up and listen with the intent to understand the other person.  We see the world as we are, not as it is.  The small act that matters in relationships is to focus more on understanding than on being understood.

Diet and exercise: While we continue to buy the next great diet and exercise plan (the consumer does drive most of our economy so at least we are supporting a good cause with these purchases) we should start with a small step in the right direction.  Perhaps we can start by brushing our teeth after dinner as opposed to just before bed as that has been shown to reduce the mid-evening munchies which are so problematic to our waistlines.  Small acts matter in bringing about big results.

Pursuing a really big dream beyond our present circumstance:  Spend 15 uninterrupted minutes in the quiet of the morning or late evening thinking, dreaming, and planning.  We become what we think about, so the small act of clearly “seeing” that really big dream is an important one.  Taking action should always follow at least a little bit of thinking and planning to be most productive.

Moving forward in bringing about positive change in our lives will always be grounded on the small acts that matter.  As we decide to implement a few small acts that matter, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and our Character Creates Opportunity^® to overcome resistance to change and reach our full potential.

The upcoming 4^th of July holiday weekend celebrating the birth of the United States and the freedom we enjoy is a great time for our nation, our families and our local communities.  Taking the time to reflect on the blessings of freedom and the sacrifices made on the altar of freedom to keep us free is an important part of our national holiday.

Our nation has a great history.  Relative to many other nations in the world, we have a relatively young history.  In full transparency, we can openly discuss the ups and downs and the pains and gains of freedom in our nation and our impact around the world.

Just as our nation has its own history, each one of us has our own history and story behind our lives.  Our own personal history very much shapes who we are and our view of the world.  We may not be as open and transparent with our full life’s history like our nation’s history is on display, but just like our nation, some of our history is painful and some of it is cause for great celebration.

As we continue on the journey to build and strengthen our character, we all need an important reminder about the most forgotten freedom.  This forgotten freedom is the essence of the foundation of life itself.  This forgotten freedom transcends a nation’s borders, encompasses all people of all faiths and all walks of life.

The forgotten freedom is the freedom we all possess to choose our response in any given situation.

The freedom to choose our response is the initial gateway to reach our full potential.

The forgotten freedom is not listed on a formal declaration of independence, declared on some approved political document, or sanctioned by some governing body.  The freedom to choose our response in any given situation is provided to all people regardless of place of birth, economic status, race, or religion.

Many times in life, we will use our personal history as a reason for our response, whether effective or ineffective.  We often times will blame our past as a rationale for poor choices and outcomes that fell short of expectations.

The timeless, universal, and self-evident truth found in the forgotten freedom reminds us that we are responsible for the choices we make today, regardless of our history.

When we see ourselves as free to choose our response in any situation, there are several positive outcomes that result from our choice:

• Restrictions are minimized: We are no longer bound to the negative side of our personal history that may hinder our growth. The painful comments of others in our past, the expectations of others that may box us into a certain way of life, or the negative voice inside our head that creates a huge barrier to our future growth become less restrictive.
• A new source of energy is unleashed: There is energy contained in the freedom to choose. When we see ourselves as unshackled from a painful past, the limitations based on the expectations of others, we experience the full energy of freedom. As Moshe Dayan, the military and political leader of Israel during some difficult times in the 20^th Century said, “Freedom is the oxygen of the soul.”
• A positive example is set for others: When we live a life that demonstrates to others the freedom to choose a more effective response even in the most difficult situations, we will have a positive impact on others.  The example we set will impact those around us, especially those closest to home.

It is not easy breaking free of the confines of our past, but as we continue to exercise this most forgotten freedom, the freedom to choose our response regardless of our situation, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and our Character Creates Opportunity^® to reach our full potential and be a positive impact on those around us.

“Did you close the sale?”  “Did you pass the test?”  “Did you win the game?” “Did you complete the project?” “Did you make any money on this idea?”

These are all practical and meaningful questions commonly asked in the home, business, and community.

When our children were younger we would at some point over dinner or before bedtime ask them, “What did you learn today?” When they were young, the answers were filled with new observations of the world, facts from school, and insights from friends.  For some reason, asking that to our now teenagers and college students gets a glare like we have two heads or something.

However, one of the more thoughtful, caring, and effective questions we can ask ourselves and others is, “What did you learn?”

As we look to continue to build and strengthen our character, reinforcing the importance of individual and shared learning will enable all of us to continue along a path to reach our full potential.

There is no doubt that the task needs to be completed, money needs to be made, the student needs to pass the test, and winning leads to championships.

By reprioritizing our discussion to first ask about learning and second ask about the specific result, we accomplish several critical elements to ensure we remain on a productive path to reach our full potential.  Emphasizing learning before accomplishment helps to:

• Reinforce personal growth and continual, personal growth is the foundation for building a brighter future for us as individuals and for our family, business, and community.
• Lessen the risk of getting arrogant with great accomplishments while bolstering our ability to remain humble…we always have more to learn, no matter how accomplished we have become.
• Demonstrate to others we care more about them than the awards on their wall. Ensuring others know that we care far more about them than what they have accomplished, we will keep the door open to genuine, healthy, and meaningful relationships.
• Encourage others to pursue their dreams rather than live in a box defined by the expectations of others. Moving out from under the expectations of others will enable all of us to take greater responsibility for our choices, more fully realize our strengths and weaknesses, develop clarity around our true purpose, and live a life with fewer regrets in the end.

As we continue to place an emphasis on learning, we will build and strengthen our character and our Character Creates Opportunity^® to continue to grow and reach our full potential and be an encouraging voice to those around us.

We have all heard of the guidance provided by Ben Franklin with the saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

The clarity and truth brought forth in that simple statement can be applied to various areas of our lives such as our health, relationships, work, and community.

As we look to continue to build and strengthen our character, an important area to consider is not only that we understand the concept of prevention, but that we have very practical steps to take to ensure we are dedicating a significant amount of effort on the side of prevention.

The relatively easy approach to prevention can most certainly be found in regards to our health:  Eat a well-balanced diet, get regular exercise, sleep 7-8 hours a day, schedule annual wellness check-ups with a physician, and proceed with the rule of thumb around moderation in all areas.  The basic tenets of maintaining physical health have been relatively unchanged over the years.  Actually executing on a preventative health program is another story, but the basic plan is straight-forward.

The more challenging area in prevention is taking the practical steps necessary to maintain health in our relationships.

Life, despite its complexity, is still predominately about relationship to others.  Whether those relationships are with family, friends, community, or the workplace, we are in relationship with others.

What does an “ounce of prevention” look like in maintaining health in relationship?

Here are just a few suggestions:

• Keep Commitments: Actually doing what we say we are going to do, is a simple, but massive step forward in maintaining health in relationships. “I will be there on time” “I will clean up this mess” “I will support you no matter what.” When we fall short too many times on our promises, we will need more than a pound of cure to re-establish health again.
• Focus on Serving: Serving the needs of others on a consistent basis has been shown throughout recorded history as being one of the most critical elements to maintaining health in relationships.  Our personal intent to serve others rather than waiting to be served will keep us on the most effective path toward healthy relationships.
• Sacrifice: Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.  Sacrificing our selfish instincts in favor of supporting others, demonstrates to others that we recognize life is not all about us.  Setting a personal example of sacrifice is contagious and helps to form a strong foundation of health in relationships.
• Physical Connection – Touch: There has been a significant amount of research done on the positive impact that a simple physical touch can have on maintaining health in a relationship. The physical connection made with the touch on a shoulder, the holding of a hand, or a genuine hug builds health into relationships.

Life is continuing to grow in complexity and intensity.  In order to be able to sustain our efforts for the long haul, using “ounces of prevention” instead of “pounds of cure” will help us stretch our limited resources to ensure we have optimal impact.

As we make choices to focus daily effort on prevention to maintain health, we will build and strengthen our character and our Character Creates Opportunity^® to sustain optimal physical health, to build healthy relationships, and to head down a path to build a legacy with few, if any, regrets.

 

 

We have all experienced that feeling of being overwhelmed when we see a huge task in front of us like an unexpected termination of employment, a deep break in a once trusting relationship, a financial shortfall that came on quickly, a sudden change in health, or probably the most challenging, when we sense that still small voice that says, “This is your purpose and passion, now change direction and go for it.”

Psychologists would tell us that most of us, at that initial point in time of feeling overwhelmed, take a quick turn toward the negative with thoughts like: “This is going to hurt.” “Why does this always happen to me?” “I am a little too old for another change.”  “I am not sure I can handle this.”

Many of us have had the thrill of watching a baby walk for the first time. It is a time of massive change for the child from crawling to now walking.  There is excitement, cheering from a crowd of onlookers, and that sparkle of accomplishment in the eyes of a child when they stumble through those first few steps.  Very little fear, there is mostly wonder and excitement of the new found mobility.

As we look to continue to build and strengthen our character, an important area to consider is how we deal with that seemingly overwhelming task we now face.  When fear and self-doubt creep in, what do we do?

It would not be a gross overstatement to say there is never an immediate removal of self-doubt or worry from any difficult situation.  However, it has been proven that starting small habits, baby steps if you will, are more powerful than any fear we have in dealing with change. Moving consistently, in some small way, toward our desired direction is an incredibly powerful tool to overcome.

If we have a struggling personal conflict that is building a wall between us and another person, start with a smile (or at least remove the frown)…every day, little by little, and then bring forth the courage to break the silence.

If we are afraid of a career change to finally do something we are passionate about, start with quietly building a small plan, take baby steps with the plan, every day, little by little to build confidence that our dream can come true.

If we are afraid to take a stand on an important issue and speak up, start with writing a small “note to self,” and then speak up a little to someone we trust, little by little to then speak each and every time the opportunity arises.

Our baby steps are powerful enough to overcome any fear.

As we choose to take some baby steps in the right direction, we will build and strengthen our character and our Character Creates Opportunity^® to overcome our fears and reach our full potential.