Following last’s week blog on the important personal skill of delayed gratification as defined as the ability to resist temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later, often greater and more enduring award, Part II of this message will focus on another important personal skill.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, this second skill has also been shown to be critical to ensuring lasting success in building healthy relationships and having a positive impact in our life’s effort.  This skill is not as well studied in academia as the “marshmallow test” demonstrating delayed gratification, but this second skill is documented throughout history as being an important personal skill.

Part II of this message addresses the critical skill of proactive service – The ability to identify a need and make the choice to take action to meet the need.  This skill goes sharply against the “what’s in it for me crowd,” the “I just want to be happy crowd” and the “I am just in it for the money crowd.”

Proactive service is embodied in the quote from President John F. Kennedy at his inaugural address in 1961 when he said, “ask not what your country can do for you–ask what you can do for your country.”  For those searching for purpose, proactive service is captured in the words of Mahatma Gandhi who said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

Proactive service is as much as a choice as it is a skill.  It is a choice to run towards problems instead of away from them.  It is a choice to persevere when our selfish needs of recognition and reward make quitting seem like a really good option because we are not getting what we want from the experience.

Proactively looking for ways to serve has been and will continue to be the hallmark of individuals who leave a legacy that endures by leaving the world a better place than they found it. They are most often not characterized by those who made a great financial reward for their skill of serving others or developing a product that meets a huge market need.  Proactive service is most commonly seen in:

1. The home by those who continue to serve others in daily tasks that often go unnoticed and underappreciated for years.
2. The workplace by individuals who raise their hand to help when a young supervisor has been given a big task and by those who stay a little later to ensure the job gets done even when it goes past the time to clock out.
3. The community by individuals who choose to serve in capacities of real need even when they could apply those skills and energy to earn a greater financial reward in some other endeavor.

The examples we see all around us of proactive service are worthy of remembering and teaching to others.

Building a strong foundation of proactive service does not start with questions like “what makes me happy” or “what do I do best.”  Living a life of proactive service begins with the question, “What needs to be done?”  Individuals find purpose and passion in identifying needs and getting busy meeting the needs of others in our homes, our workplace and our community.

As we make the choice to proactively serve in areas of need, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and our Character Creates Opportunity® for us to reach our full potential and leave a legacy that sets an example for others to follow.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, there are two personal skills that throughout history have been critical to ensuring lasting success in building healthy relationships and having a positive impact in our life’s effort.  The first of these skills will be covered this week and the second will be addressed in next week’s blog.

There is one skill that has been proven over and over again to be a stronger predictor of lifelong success than any other including IQ, social class, formal education etc.  Philosophers in ancient civilizations, the world’s major religions, and modern day psychologists all speak to the importance of building this personal skill in order to best position us to have a life of positive impact.

The personal skill deemed critical is self-control in the form of delayed gratification. Delayed gratification is the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later, often greater and more enduring reward.

The personal skill to resist the pull of instant gratification to meet an immediate need by focusing on a longer term goal is worthy of our attention as we build and strengthen our character.

In the modern era, there were two important studies initiated in the 1960s and 70s that formally measured the long term impact of delayed gratification that set in motion numerous repeat studies that have continually proved the importance of this skill to a life of positive impact.

The Dunedin (New Zealand) children’s study and the Marshmallow Test conducted at Stanford University.

The children of Dunedin (over 1,000 kids born over a single 12 month period) were studied throughout their school years on numerous skills including their tolerance for frustration and their ability to concentrate and exercise self-control.  They were followed up over 2 decades later and assessed across of series of measurements for health, wealth, relationships, and crime rates.

The Marshmallow Test basically placed 4 year olds in a room with their favorite treat (in most cases Marshmallows).  Researchers told the children that they can have one marshmallow right now if they wanted it.  However, if they did not eat it until the researcher came back after taking care of a few tasks, they could have two marshmallows.  About one third of the kids held off until the researcher came back about 15 minutes later and were rewarded with 2 marshmallows.  The children were followed up decades later and assessed on a number of important aspects of life.

In both seminal studies, the results were clear.  The kids who demonstrated the skill of delayed gratification had a lifelong difference in terms of healthy relationships, financial well-being, low crime rates and a host of other positive outcomes.  Self-control, in the form of delayed gratification, proved to be a stronger predictor than any traditional measure.

Studies like the ones at Dunedin and Stanford have been repeated and demonstrated similar outcomes.  Today’s academics have demonstrated strong evidence in support of the teachings of ancient philosophers and the world’s major religions.

The capacity to develop self-control demonstrated by these kids, and the same can be said for adults in the journey to live a life of positive impact, can be summarized in two important areas:

1. The ability to mentally and emotionally disengage from the object of our immediate desire (a marshmallow, my need to be “right” in an argument, protect my reputation, effectively cover my insecurities, etc.)
2. The ability to focus on a larger, longer term goal (like two marshmallows or a healthy relationship in our home).

In very practical terms for all us, the ability to build healthy relationships starts with (a) our ability to disengage from the strong pull to meet our own immediate selfish desires and (b) our ability to take a deep breath and realize the more significant goal of a healthy, positive, long term relationship is what we are striving for.

As we put effort into developing our self-control to resist instant gratification and focus on the long term goals of health in our relationships and having a positive impact on our surroundings, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and our Character Creates Opportunity® for us to reach our full potential and set an example for others to follow.

“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”  “You are out of touch with today.”

When facing the speed of change in our homes, the marketplace, and our community, we all have probably heard, said or thought these phrases on more than one occasion.  Typically, as individuals get set in their ways, either in a job or in their home life, the phrase, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” is said to address a personal short-coming or to rationalize another person’s response to something new and different. The normal dialogue back and forth between generations typically results in someone in a younger generation responding to an older person, hopefully as respectfully as possible, with “you are out of touch with today.”

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, ensuring we remain relevant to those around us will help us have a positive impact on others for many years to come.  There are two principles that can help all of us remain relevant to those around us as we continue on our journey:  (1) We need to remain teachable throughout life and (2) We need to remain open to learn from anyone by minimizing the barrier of prejudgment.

Remain Teachable:

There is no denying the fact that our world continues to grow in complexity.  The issues we face in many areas of our lives will not be effectively addressed with the techniques that worked a few decades or even a few years ago.  We need to find more effective ways to deal with our reality.

The pace of change in most of our markets is lightning fast and business leaders need to continue to seek improved solutions to add greater value in order to remain relevant.  In our homes, whether it is managing our finances, maintaining a strong marriage, or being a more effective parent, our environment continues to grow in complexity and many times we are trying to navigate in uncharted waters.  The principles of love, understanding, compassion, etc. are timeless and will always remain relevant.  However, how we deliver on those principles needs to adjust with the changing environment.

As we make the choice to remain teachable, we become well positioned to remain relevant to those around us.  Blaming someone else, or worse yet, in our own mind saying, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” will work to weaken our impact.

Remain Open:

In addition to remaining teachable to stay relevant, we need to remain open to understand and learn from anyone.  Generationally speaking, the young should remain open to learn from the wisdom of the old and the old should remain open to learn from the new perspective and energy of the young.  In addition, diversity of experience, background, gender, race, etc. provide potentially valuable perspectives to understand and learn from.

Both academic research and our own practical experience, would demonstrate that many times we prejudge the potential teacher with our own thoughts of: “What can we learn from him? He has never worked in our industry.” “She does not have a degree in this particular field, what could she possibly teach us?” “He is an old man, there is no way he can relate to what I am dealing with.” “She is only a teenager, what could she share that would change what we already know?”

Diversity provides a great foundation for learning.  Many times we prejudge diversity of thought or expression and quickly close the door to learning from others.  Making the choice to remain open and willing to learn from others who may appear ‘different’ than us will help us remain relevant to those around us.

Prejudging people because they are ‘different’ or allowing ourselves to fall into ‘group-think’ that quiets their voice, will work to weaken our character and hinder us from reaching our full potential.

As we work to remain teachable and remain open to learn from others, not just those who look and act like us, are from our generation, or share a similar set of life experiences, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and our Character Creates Opportunity® for us to remain relevant to those around us and continue to have a positive impact in our life’s journey.

We all admire those individuals who see things that others may not and then have the courage to take action.  Whether it is an opportunity in business, an opportunity to help someone in need, an opportunity to alleviate the suffering of others, or an opportunity to inspire those who are down and almost out.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, it is the combination of vision and the courage to take action that we most often find at the foundation of opportunities that make a positive impact on individuals, organizations and our world.

Among all the stories that were told a few weeks ago while celebrating the life of Muhammad Ali, there was one story that was not often shared, but speaks to vision and the courage to take action to make a positive impact in our world.

The story of Chuck Wepner, the Bayonne Bleeder, who knocked down Muhammad Ali in the 1975 title fight.  Ali went on to win the fight with a technical knockout in the 15^th and final round.  It was while observing that fight, Sylvester Stallone was inspired to write the story of Rocky. He spent the better part of three straight days writing the script immediately after the fight.  He then persevered through countless rejections of the script until he finally landed a studio contract.  The movie went on to have a major impact in the box office and in the lives of so many people.

Some thirty years later, most of us still get a little inspiration when we hear the theme song to Rocky.

Most people were just watching a great fight between Muhammad Ali and the Bayonne Bleeder, but one individual, Sylvester Stallone, saw something that others did not and then had the courage to take action.

As we look to build and strengthen our character through the ability to see what needs to be done and then getting things done, here are a few thoughts along the way:

• Are we just along for the ride in our lives at home, at work and in our community or are we looking for the opportunity to make a positive impact?
• Are we just watching or are we looking with an eye towards finding a more effective way?
• Are we seeing hope and inspiration or are we seeing fear and doubt?
• Are we just talking about an opportunity or do we have the courage to step in the ring and take action?

As we become more proactive in looking for an opportunity to make a positive impact and we develop the courage to take action, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to reach our full potential and have a positive impact on those around us.

In our fast paced world, it is easy to get caught up in highlighting what is on the surface.  We draw quick conclusions on social status, wealth, education, resumes and appearances.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, it is important to reinforce the real health and wealth of all of us, is measured on the inside…the quality of our heart.  Our heart, or character, is our internal compass that drives our thoughts, decisions, and actions.  Our character is built and strengthened over time by thoughts, decisions, and actions that are based on timeless and universal principles like honesty, service, and perseverance.

We all remember the story of David and Goliath.  Well, before that big showdown between David and the giant Goliath, when God was directing the choice for the next king of Israel, He reinforced the truth that “People look at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7).  David was chosen to be the next king because of the quality of his heart long before the people witnessed his courage in defeating the giant Goliath.

Just like we periodically go to the doctor to get a routine physical and a checkup on our heart, we need to be reminded to do a heart checkup on our character.  The questions on our heart checkup may sound something like:

• Are we willing to turn toward a problem or do we walk/run away from it?
• Are we willing to serve a purpose greater than our own or do we just focus on ourselves?
• Are we willing to be proactive to help or are we still waiting for someone to ask?
• Are we willing to remain humble in great achievements and persevere in the face of failure?
• Are we willing to accept the truth that there is no finish line for the important things in life?

Our heart, or character, stays strong and healthy when our thoughts, decisions, and actions are guided by principles like loyalty, courage, and commitment. As we build and strengthen our character it is important to reinforce that Character Creates Opportunity® to reach our hopes and dreams regardless of our situation.

“Someday never comes” – John Fogerty, lead singer for Credence Clearwater Revival

For many reading this blog, the rhythm from that song and the music of CCR brings back a few memories of their youth (others maybe saying, “Who in the world is John Fogerty and CCR?”).  As we continue to build and strengthen our character, an important topic to address is the need to take small steps of action today, rather than putting things off.

Let’s face it, we all know the basics of things we should do to strengthen important relationships, improve our health, expand our thinking, or be better positioned to grow in our career.  Many times, our excuse for not doing these things is that it is just not the “right time” to take small steps in the right direction.  “I will go back to school once the kids get a little older”…”I will forgive once the sting of the betrayal subsides a little more”…”I will reach out to that family member once I get through this busy time at work”…”I will get back to exercising in the springtime”.  Well, as we have all experienced, many times that “right time” never comes about or when it does, we have a host of other self-described obstacles to the next “right time.” In the worst of scenarios, that individual or opportunity is gone forever and it becomes a painful, lingering regret that we struggle to shake off.

An important aspect of building and strengthening our character is the simple act of taking action to continue moving forward in what we know in our heart is the right direction.  Today’s message is not about dropping everything and pursuing that big bold idea that has been weighing on your soul (if that fits you, great, but that is not the intent of this message).  Today’s message is more about taking a few small steps that matter toward what we know is needed.

Some of our biggest opportunities to build and strengthen our character involve taking action in our relationship with others.  We all have a tendency to avoid the difficult face to face conversations to repair a troubled relationship.  It is never easy and the emotional pain from prior struggles remains with us and makes it even harder to re-engage.  Relationships are the fabric of our lives and will always be intertwined with every endeavor of life.  Maintaining healthy relationships, especially with those closest to us, is worth the effort, and it is our character that will create opportunities to bring health into troubled relationships.

Throughout history (and even in this digital age) there has been one small step that has helped many, including myself, to begin to address a strained relationship that has fallen off the tracks. Try writing a letter.  Yes, an old fashioned, hand-written letter.  Nobody gets these anymore and I can almost guarantee that an individual in a very troubled relationship will still open a letter and read it in the quiet of their own time.  Keep it short with a focus on care and concern versus justifying or blaming.  Let the letter be a first step to softening defenses and perhaps open a door to reconnect and a path toward restoration.  If nothing else, you can be at peace knowing you took some small step of action to ensure “someday” finally came.

The cold hard reality of life is that many times the letter does not even need a stamp as the relationship we need to restore is within our home.

As we take small steps in the right direction, when we know it is needed, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to build strong healthy relationships, especially in our home.

There seems to be no shortage of talkers in our world.  Traditional media, our school systems and our workplaces are all wired to recognize and reward the talkers.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character in a world that highlights the loud and proud, we don’t want to miss the power of listening to build healthy relationships, open dialogue with those who are hurting and establish the foundation to reach our hopes and dreams.

We all cherish the moment when we are truly being listened to and understood.

In his seminal book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie described listening skills as one of the key attributes to a life of positive impact.  There are plenty of “experts” who would described the importance of listening to others as a key ingredient to understand another person and through understanding, we can begin to build better relationships.  In addition, I am sure we have all experienced the occasional “aha” moment when we finally shut-up long enough to listen and gained some real insight into understanding another person and why they have a certain point of view or why they took a certain action.

Just recently, some exciting new research has been released that demonstrates the power of our brains to relate to one another when we truly listen.  Research out of Princeton being led by neuroscientist Uri Hasson went beyond traditional techniques of simply mapping activity in particular regions of the brain.  Dr. Hasson’s research used complex mathematical analyses to map patterns of activity in the brain.  The research added the dimension of measuring the relationship between the pattern in one person’s brain and the pattern in another’s.

The research team recorded the brain activity of one person’s brain while they told a story and another person’s brain who was listening.  The two brain patterns showed a remarkable degree of correlation. The storyteller had literally gotten in to the listener’s brain and altered it not only on the logic-reasoning parts of the brain, but most importantly, on the emotional part of the brain.  By focusing on listening, the listener was able to match the brain of the storyteller.  The listener felt the emotions of the storyteller.

The research demonstrated over and over that when you listen to and understand another person, you experience the exact same brain pattern as that person.  It is as if you have experienced their experience.  The research demonstrated that our brains know little difference between our own experience and one we shared by listening to another. Our brains are impacted the same way.  Listening to another person can provide real insight into another person’s journey and help us understand.

In addition to these types of research insights and the so-called “experts” in the field, here are just a few thoughts to reinforce the importance of listening to build healthy relationships:

1. Listening is the most simple and powerful way to demonstrate to someone that they matter. Our decision to listen meets a very important psychological need of all of us – to know we matter.  Listening does not take a PhD in psychology, an extremely high IQ, or some position in the corner office.  All it takes is a simple decision to be silent and give someone our attention.
2. As our world continues to grow more intense and complex, before we instinctively move to shout out our “brilliant opinion,” we should first choose to listen. As the research showed, when we listen, we actually feel the experience of the other person.  This is a relevant and practical choice for our home, our workplace, and our community.  As with many other things, the greatest challenge is often listening to those that are closest to us in our home.  We mistakenly think we know them well enough because we have lived with them for so long that we don’t need to listen.  In addition, we may have allowed the obstacles of anger, frustration, and apathy to prevent us from listening the other side of the story…and there is always another side to the story.
3. For most people, it is our painful experiences that have taught us the most and form the basis for many of the choices we make. However, we typically keep hidden those painful experiences from others.  Being a good listener can help build a trusting, non-judgmental, and shame-free atmosphere which can eventually open a door to the sharing of those painful experiences to assist in a greater understanding of one another.  Understanding is the foundation for health in our relationships.

Listening, with the intent to understand, is a well-documented and practical approach to improve relationships.  As we make the decision to listen, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to build healthy and meaningful relationships.

Sooner or later, we all get the blues.  Part of the human experience is going through difficult circumstances and many times, feelings of sadness, loneliness, or grief is all part of the process.  Over time, we somehow move forward through the valley and keep moving along with our lives.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, working to build our resistance to the blues and accelerating our recovering out of our inevitable time with the blues will enhance our ability to reach our full potential and set a positive example for those around us.

We all have our weak points that can set us down the path into the blues.

• The pressure of personal finances and provision for those we care about most gets us down.
• The unmet expectations of our loved ones gets us down.
• The frustrations of feeling trapped in the workplace or an unfulfilled career path gets us down.
• The reflection on mistakes and regrets gets us down.
• The journey through an unexpected illness or health crisis gets us down.

The journey of life has an unfortunate habit of showing our weak points from time to time.

We have a unique, personal pattern of what our outward expression to the world is when we are dealing with the blues.  Some of us get moody, others get quiet, some get downright mean, and others simply withdraw completely.  If you are unsure of your personal pattern, just ask someone in your home and I am sure they will be more than willing to tell you.

There are a few practical steps that have been proven over time by our experience and by academic research that we can all take as an antidote to the blues.  These steps will help minimize the frequency and duration of our blues experience and expedite our recovery back into the bright light of opportunity that is before us each day.

1. Accept the reality that the journey of life will bring about times of personal sadness. Expecting a life without periods of sadness and disappointment is just not a realistic expectation.
2. Identify the source of our feelings. Be sure to look beyond the immediate issue like a fight with our spouse, an uninspiring job, or a recent mistake.  Many times, we have unresolved issues from our past that keep rearing their ugly head in our day to day issues.  Working to resolve these issues is an important step in dealing with the near term source of our troubles.
3. Find someone who will listen. It is getting harder and harder these days to find someone to listen.  In a world that continues to grow in complexity and intensity, the distractions of work, family schedules, “always on” social media, and binge watching a favorite TV series makes it challenging to even get those closest to us in the home to listen.  In addition, the cold hard reality is that struggles in the home are most often the source of the blues and finding someone to listen in our home may not be a realistic option.  In those cases, we should always try and be the one who is willing to put down the smart phone and listen when we can clearly tell something is wrong.  Our example will help others to do the same.
4. Look beyond ourselves to the needs of others. Getting our minds off of ourselves and onto helping others is a foundational step for preventing and recovering from the blues.  As Ben Franklin most famously said, “A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.”  Focus on serving others and our personal issues will seem insignificant in the light of helping others in need.
5. Set some small personal goals. It may very well be just to get out of bed in an efficient manner and not try to sleep away troubles with a few hits on the snooze button.  A set of small physical goals like going for a walk or exercising in some consistent way has always been shown to be a strong resistance to the blues.  Small steps of progress towards goals helps to expedite our recovery.
6. Count our blessings. Psychologists, pastors, and friends would all say that being thankful for the small blessings in life is a habit we should all embrace.  Whether it is enjoying a sunrise or a sunset along with the fact that we had one more day with those we care about most, gratefulness for the little things will help us effectively deal with the blues.

In the end, the choice is always ours to make.  Making a few decisions to implement some of the items above will help to minimize the number of times we slip into the blues and it will help expedite our recovery out of the valley when we find ourselves alone in the darkness.

As we take these steps as an antidote for the blues, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to reach our full potential and set a positive example for those around us.

Psychologists, social researchers in academia, and our own personal experience would say that the vast majority of us avoid having the difficult conversation to address lingering frustrations that inevitably come with relationships in the home, the workplace, and the community.

Leaders in the workplace often delay having the difficult performance discussion with an employee until it is just unavoidable and the team or project has been significantly impacted.

Couples in the home often avoid the known stress points or triggers in the relationship and keep their fingers crossed that it will just go away without a fight this time.

Communities often look the other way and sweep problems under the rug until one small action ignites a firestorm of the now unavoidable reality.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, demonstrating the wisdom and courage to address the difficult and uncomfortable topics will help us prevent the cancer of delay from spreading and destroying the long term health of close relationships.

Emotion is often bound to a moment, but wisdom is always married to time.  We need wisdom to be effective in dealing with the complexity of life and that only comes with time and experience.

Here are just a few thoughts to address the avoidance strategy head on:

• Acknowledge the Truth: It is not easy to effectively have these types of discussions. Life is often sloppy and painful and addressing difficult issues does not come with paint by the numbers instructions. It is not perfect, but it needs to be experienced, not avoided.
• Begin the Dialogue: When we avoid addressing the problem, we often create more problems. Unresolved issues do not go away they just rear themselves in other ways.  We learn and grow as we address challenges, so get started.
• Intent and Understanding are the Foundation: It is important to be genuine in our intent to move the relationship forward in a healthy way to achieve the long term goals of the team, the family, or the community. Seek understanding first as we do not see the world as it is, but we see the world as we are and our experiences and attitudes bring about a host preconceived notions and biases.
• Don’t Lose Hope: We may often find ourselves in a tough spot in our homes, our close relationships, and in our community.  We will learn and grow through addressing difficult issues and even if they don’t get adequately resolved, we will be setting a great example for those closest to us that we don’t give up.

As we strive to reach our full potential in our lives and in our relationships, we will always have difficult issues to address and the avoidance strategy is just not an effective option.  We learn and grow as we work through difficult issues and the wisdom we gain will help us build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to reach our hopes and dreams.

There is a great deal of material written about and attention given to leaders. One of the burdens of leadership is often summarized in the phrase it is “lonely at the top.”  There are many times when a leader needs to step forward and decide. The leader has gathered all the input, sorted through the data, and then at some point a decision needs to be made.  There is that moment of decision when the burden is only fully felt by the leader.  This is when a leader confronts that cold reality that it is truly “lonely at the top.”

However, today’s message is not about the “leader”, but about the often underappreciated role that most of us play…The role of serving to get the job done.  Mostly out of the spotlight, behind the scenes, and without the typical fanfare that comes with the “lonely role at the top.”  Similar to an offensive lineman blocking for a great running back or providing protection for a great quarterback to find the open receiver, the offensive line, like many of us, do our job faithfully day in and day out without being in the spotlight.

As we continue to build and strengthen our character, the commitment to keep moving forward in the quiet role of service to a cause bigger than ourselves will set a positive example for others to follow.

Although many times underappreciated, there is something extremely honorable about the commitment of those who get the job done in our workplace, our communities and our homes.  A tremendous example is quietly set by those getting up on a cold, dark morning and getting the job done on a consistent basis that is worthy of appreciation, but so often goes without it.  It does not matter what role we play; whether we get up and load boxes into a truck, pack a lunch for children, sit and hold grandchildren, or plan the strategy for an organization.  The day in day out choice we make to get up and get going despite going underappreciated for not just days, but perhaps years, is worthy of praise and honor.

Truth be told, our most underappreciated examples of honorable, quiet service most often occur with those closest to us in our homes and extended family.

We may not realize it, but those around us, whether they are our children, our coworkers, or our neighbors are all impacted by our example to serve.  The press can be fleeting and inaccurate over time on those individuals in high-level positions.  However, the day to day example of those in quiet service beyond the spotlight to a cause bigger than themselves and honorably fulfilling their commitments are to be given the highest praise for their impact is positive and lasting on those around them.

All of us, at certain points in our journey across the various roles we play, will feel underappreciated for our efforts.  Whether it is an insensitive spouse, a young adult going through that “know it all” phase, a preoccupied boss, or selfish coworkers, we all will go through times of service where we just feel underappreciated.

In most cases, especially in the home, the tide does eventually turn.  The insensitive spouse or the “know it all” young adult eventually has that “light-bulb” moment when they realize the quiet service that has been delivered faithfully over the years.  However, if they do not, it is important that we do not lose our drive to deliver on our commitments to do our job and fulfill our obligations.  Continuing to move forward in quiet service is the right thing to do.

If you have felt underappreciated for a while, take this writing as a little “pat on the back” of encouragement for a job and an example well done.  In addition, we all should do some self-reflection and see if we are that insensitive spouse, “know it all” young adult, preoccupied boss, or selfish co-worker and start today to put forth some encouragement and recognition to those who are in honorable, quiet service around us.

As we keep moving forward in quiet service out of the spotlight, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® for us to have a positive impact in our world and on those closest to us.