There is a part of us that would like to believe the world we live in could be stable and unchanging…and happily ever after. The reality is we live in an endless cycle of change in every aspect of our lives.

As soon as we charge up our new phone, chances are high it will immediately need some patches to download to keep it functional.

As soon as the township re-paves a main road, it only looks perfect for about a day until we discover the sharp edge of a raised sewer drain.

As soon as we are a seasoned parent of a middle schooler, kids move into high school and we imperfectly face a whole new set of parenting challenges.

As soon as we gain a good degree of confidence in our chosen field, the marketplace shifts rapidly, and we find ourselves in need of some new skills to remain competitive.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, improving our resilience is needed to effectively address the endless cycle of change in our lives.

The good news is that academic research and real-life experience would demonstrate that resilience can be consistently improved over time. As our world continues to grow more complex and uncertain, here are few thoughts to encourage a focus on improving our own personal resilience:

• Accept the Truth: It is important that we accept the universal and timeless truth that life is an endless cycle of change. It is not emotionally healthy to remain fixated on a false hope that change will not be a constant in our lives.
• Change Brings Growth: We only learn through change and disruption. For most of us, if we looked back on our own life experience we would see that when things did appear relatively stable, we typically became complacent, unproductive and may be even a bit lazy.
• Forget Perfection: For all practical purposes, it is impossible to be perfect in a world that is constantly changing. It is emotionally healthy to find some peace in our own imperfections. We should not become satisfied with our imperfections, but just find some peace as work to improve upon them. In addition, it would be helpful to find some peace with the imperfections of others, especially those closest to us. They are facing an endless barrage of change too.
• Principles Remain: Even in a world of endless change, there are timeless, universal principles such as loyalty, commitment, compassion and teamwork that can steady us and grow our resilience as we journey along.

As we continue to improve our resilience to address the reality of ongoing, disruptive change in our lives, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity for us to reach our hopes and dreams and stay close to those we care about most.

We have all felt overwhelmed from time to time. Feeling “flooded” is a nice, polite way psychologists describe our situation when we feel we have reached a final breaking point in relationships, careers, and other endeavors.

There is no denying that our experiences in the home, school, workplace, and community continue to grow more complex and create new challenges for all of us to reach our hopes and dreams.

As our situations continue to get more challenging, the principles we rely on to keep moving forward in our journey do not change. As we guide our thoughts, decisions, and actions based on principles such as courage, perseverance, loyalty, and faith, we will more often than not, make the most effective choices to address the complex reality we are all facing. Techniques may change, but principles are timeless and universal to support our cause.

Throughout history, as the challenges seemed to grow greater, principle-based actions of individuals and movements rose to the occasion to overcome. If we all took a moment to reflect on our own story, I am confident we would find times where we faced seemingly insurmountable challenges and managed to overcome.

However, there has always be one clear warning sign that if not addressed, will turn a near term derailment into a permanent loss in the pursuit of our goals. This warning sign is a more formidable obstacle in achieving our goals than the actual challenge we face. This clear warning sign is when our thoughts, decisions, and actions are guided by the phrase, “I just don’t care anymore.”

Apathy is the real enemy in the long journey to pursue our hopes and dreams.

When we come to the point of not caring about the important issues within our families, the challenges of our chosen profession, the pursuit of education throughout our lives, or service in our communities, then the battle is over. Sun Tzu said, “Every battle is won or lost before it’s ever fought.”

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, we must continue to care about the things that matter most, even in the face of extreme difficulty and struggle.

Here a few thoughts to identify and address apathy before it gets a tight grip on us:

• Self-Assessment: No one knows our inner thoughts, but us. It is critical that we “look in the mirror” and continue to assess the genesis of our own thoughts that drive our decisions and actions. An honest self-assessment is our best tool to identify apathy in our mindset.
• Choices: We can only effectively give our energy to a few causes. The world is too challenging to give partial effort and expect to make a difference. We need the discipline to clearly choose whether to go “all in” or don’t go at all. In today’s vernacular, my kids would say, “Go big or go home.” We should determine what we care about most and act accordingly.
• Long-term: There is no cause worth pursuing that will have an “overnight success.” There will always be a series ups and downs…sometimes extreme ups and downs. It is important we don’t get too elated or too down in the short run but focus on staying the course and caring throughout the long journey to reach our hopes and dreams.
• Observation and Action: Be on the lookout for this clear warning sign in others. Apathy can metastasize like a cancer within families, the workplace, and our communities. We all need some courage to have the difficult conversation when we see apathy in others and share an encouraging word about the importance of addressing it and overcoming for the good of the family, the team, or community.

As we continue to guide our thoughts, decisions, and actions by principles such as sacrifice, commitment, and understanding, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity for us to keep apathy out of our lives and away from those we care about most.

Have you ever been in a situation where you had no clue about what someone was talking about or no understanding about a concept that a group of friends or colleagues were discussing?  Most of us have an experience or two like that and we will most likely have more as we continue along in our lives.

We have all heard the old saying, “there are no stupid questions.” However, we have all experienced a few times when that has not always been true and so our tendency is to keep quiet, muddle through, and hope we won’t look like a complete fool in the discussion.

The problem with keeping quiet and muddling through is that without asking questions to gain understanding, we don’t add new insights to our experience, we waste some time and energy when we are confused, our growth is hindered, and we fall short of reaching our full potential.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, it is important that we build the courage to ask questions that can help us learn and grow.

We learn and grow when we move beyond our current borders. One very simple and effective way to grow is to have the courage to ask a question when we don’t understand.

There continues to be a steady stream of published research on the benefits of asking questions that should be a source of support and encouragement to all of us to ask questions when we don’t understand.  In reviewing many of these studies, I thought the three take-aways below were most helpful to build our courage to raise our hand and ask the question:

1. When we ask questions to better understand a topic, we learn (not too surprising).
2. When we ask people a question about a topic or idea they are discussing, we provide them with some encouragement and a boost of confidence. People feel better about themselves when they are genuinely asked a question from someone who wants to learn.  Encouragement and confidence is a wonderful gift we can give someone just by asking a question.
3. When we ask people a question and they feel affirmed and a little more confident about themselves, they think more highly of the person who asked them the question. So as opposed to having that not so hidden glaze of confusion on our faces, by asking the question, we elevate our potential in the eyes of others. Helping others to see our full potential is a door opener to a world of possibilities for us and those we care about most.

As the saying goes, repetition builds retention, so here is a quick summary.  When we ask questions (1) We learn (2) We encourage others (3) People end up thinking more highly of us.

The next time we are involved in a discussion around an idea or a concept we don’t understand, stop and ask a question…every time.  With this small change in our behavior, we will ensure we keep heading in an effective direction to reach our hopes and dreams.

When we develop the courage to ask a question, we build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity for us to learn, grow, and reach our full potential.

This is the third and final segment of a message on the importance of how we can effectively address the negative drains of energy on a personal level.

As a reminder from last week, there is a great deal written about the importance of a positive mindset, counting our blessings, looking at the bright side of events and how that positive mindset can create a renewable source of personal energy to make progress in reaching our hopes and dreams.  However, we do not have a great deal written about or discussed on how we deal with the negative, unproductive drains of energy on a personal level.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, effectively dealing with the negative, unproductive drains on our personal energy will help us remain on a productive path to reach our full potential.

Parts I & II of the message addressed Worry and the trifecta of negative energy Anger-Bitterness-Resentment. In part III of the message, we will address the negative energy associated with being Lost.

Most of us lose our way from time to time.  Whether we are on the highway towards a new vacation spot or on the proverbial “highway of life,” we get off track, veer off our original plans and eventually realize we are lost. In both situations, we spend a great deal of unproductive energy wandering around when we could be more productive with our energy if we took some time to figured out where we are and where we need to go.

There are a few simple, but often underutilized steps to minimize this unproductive energy drain and free up capacity for positive energy to move us forward.

When lost on “the street” searching for a destination, here are a few simple steps: (1) Stop and ask for directions much sooner than we have in the past. (2) Instead of yelling at our travel companions, we should ask for their help.  They bring a different perspective from their seat and at this point, a different point of view maybe just what we need to help. (3) When in doubt, upgrade the software on your GPS.

When lost on the “highway of life” searching for a destination, here are a few ideas: (1) Acknowledge we came off the path at some point and are now lost. No sense playing the blame game or feeling regrets. Just simply acknowledge we are lost and getting nowhere. (2) Spend some quality time alone and with a few people you can be very “real” with who won’t move quickly to judgement, shame, or a quick fix to your current situation.  Spend the time necessary to figure out where you want to go and make a plan to get there. Spending the time upfront is critical, but so few of us actually do it.  Einstein is noted to have said that if he had one hour to save the world he would spend fifty-five minutes defining the problem and only five minutes finding the solution.   We should use a similar construct as we determine our life’s destination.  Where do we want to go?  Send some time thinking about that critically important question. (3) Make the decision to start heading out in a particular direction, buckle-up and learn to enjoy the journey.

As we take steps to minimize the negative, unproductive drains on our personal energy, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity to achieve our hopes and dreams.

This is the second part of a three part message on the importance of how we can effectively address the negative drains of energy on a personal level.

As a reminder from last week, there is a great deal written about the importance of a positive mindset, counting our blessings, looking at the bright side of events and how that positive mindset can create a renewable source of personal energy to make progress in reaching our hopes and dreams.  However, we do not have a great deal written about or discussed on how we deal with the negative, unproductive drains of energy on a personal level.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, effectively dealing with the negative, unproductive drains on our personal energy will help us remain on a productive path to reach our full potential.

From part I of the message, we addressed worry as a major drain on our personal energy.  In part II of the message, we will address the trifecta of negative energy Anger-Bitterness-Resentment

We could break these three apart, but they have a tendency to travel together.  We typically hold onto these negative feelings when someone did something to us or said something to us that we felt was unkind, unjustified, or was the truth we were just not ready to accept.  In addition, sometimes we become envious of someone else and these three negative feelings often consistently follow on the heels of envy.  Although we may be pretty good at rationalizing our way into these feelings, the reality is that they result in an unhealthy level of negative energy and need to be addressed.

Below are three actions we can take to minimize the negative energy around feelings of anger-bitterness-resentment.

1. Ignore: “Shake it off” or let it roll off you like “water off a duck’s back.” This is the most passive, easiest path to take and like most easy things, returns the smallest reward in terms of minimizing negative energy.  However, it is a good step in an effective direction.
2. Forgive: This is where things get tougher. Genuinely giving up our perceived right to “get even” and hurt someone back can provide us with a boost of positive energy as we clear the issue from our plate of activities.  Eliminating the negative energy around the grind of “getting even” or stewing over the misdeed through forgiveness can free up a tremendous amount of capacity for positive energy to replace the void.  Most often, as we seek a greater level of understanding around the issue and the individual who hurt us, forgiveness quite naturally follows understanding.  Forgiveness involves a little more risk, more effort, and returns a potentially bigger reward.
3. Grace: This is the most difficult of all steps.  Basically, grace is going out of our way to be kind, considerate, and a blessing to someone who we feel hurt us.  This takes a great deal of effort and more often than not, produces the greatest rewards measured over a lifetime.   Demonstrating grace is the biggest game changing step to take any relationship in a positive direction.  It has an exponential effect on the amount of positive energy within an individual and an equally significant impact on reducing or eliminating negative energy when we have been hurt.  Demonstrating grace is not for the weak or faint of heart and the rewards, measured over the long journey of life, are unmatched in building healthy, strong relationships…especially those within our family.

As we take steps to minimize the negative, unproductive drains on our personal energy, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity to achieve our hopes and dreams.

In Part III we will address the negative energy of being Lost on the street and on the journey of life.

As a society, we talk a great deal about the importance of conserving our natural resources and utilizing renewable energy sources as much as possible to sustain our way of life.  On a personal level, a great deal has been written about the importance of a positive mindset, counting our blessings, looking at the bright side of events and how that positive mindset can create a renewable source of personal energy to make progress in reaching our hopes and dreams.

On the flip side in terms of ways to reduce how we waste energy, as a society, we again do a good job of reminding ourselves to turn off the lights, drive less aggressively, open the windows as opposed to turn on the air conditioning, etc. as ways to minimize the negative drain on our natural resources.   However, unlike the positive mindset on a personal level, we do not have a great deal written about or discussed on how we deal with the negative, unproductive drains of energy on a personal level.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, effectively dealing with the negative, unproductive drains on our personal energy will help us remain on a productive path to reach our full potential.

There are some common sources of negative, unproductive drains on our personal energy that we need to address.  It would be a bit disingenuous for any of us to say we do not deal with negative, unproductive drains on our personal energy from time to time.  Over the course of the next three writings, we are going to shine some light on three common problem areas, in the hope that we can more effectively deal with them.

Part I:  Worry

Many of us struggle with worry in a number of areas of life.  We worry about our family, work, finances, personal safety, etc.  Many of these things are big and important.  Also, we probably worry about the not so big and important things like how we compare to others in our personal and professional lives.  Worry can be a significant drain of energy in our lives.  Sustaining high levels of worry is unhealthy and needs to be addressed.

Below are a few thoughts to address the drain on energy that worry causes:

1. Focus on controlling what we can control. We can only make consistent, meaningful progress on how we respond to events and we cannot control how other people respond.  Focus energy on what we can control…our own thoughts, decisions, and actions.
2. Take small, initial steps of action. We can effectively replace the negative energy around worry when we take a positive step towards addressing the concern.  Begin by making a modest plan and start working the plan.  For example, we can make steady progress by simply beginning to think and journal about our worries and struggles. Eventually, we will build up the courage to take the next larger step. We don’t need to take big, bold steps; small steps in the right direction are all we need to reduce the negative, unproductive drain of energy from a difficult situation.
3. Looking back on our experience. History is a great teacher, if we are willing to learn. The vast majority of things we worry about never happen.

As we take steps to minimize the negative, unproductive drains on our personal energy, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity to achieve our hopes and dreams.

In Part II we will address the trifecta of negative energy, Anger-Bitterness-Resentment. In Part III we will address the negative energy of being Lost on the street and on the journey of life.

“Yes – I can do this!”  We have all been there at some point.  We start out with a great deal of energy and excitement as we head into our journey towards that next big objective.

Many times we encounter some catalyst for change brought on by a meaningful event in our lives:  A significant change in our personal life, the ideas of a great speaker, the insightful guidance from a friend or family member, or some helpful concept in a book.  Some situation triggered our response to get motivated to take on that next challenge and go after another well intentioned goal.  We take off from that mountain top “high” with a great deal of enthusiasm.

After traveling a little ways into our journey, we eventually find ourselves off the mountain top “high” and into the valley.  The valley we encounter towards our objective is difficult.  The ability to clearly see our goal gets more challenging and somehow the journey does not seem as exciting as when we set off from the mountain top.

I am sure we can all relate to a few valley moments:

• After some time in a new job, when our coworkers and boss don’t seem as supportive as they did at the start and the work is no longer exciting
• After some time of progress on our new diet and exercise routine, things slow down a little and we notice a few pounds creeping back on the scale
• When that “sweet bundle of joy” we brought home from the hospital becomes angry and rebellious
• When the “I do” in marriage becomes “when you know what freezes over”
• When a poor choice brings about a bad outcome and there is no hiding from the consequence

We could all come up with a good laundry list of excuses to quit when we are struggling in the valley…and some of them are legitimate.  Storms do come and destroy much of what we tried to build, tragedy does strike, people do fail to keep up their end of the contract, etc., etc. 

However, for the vast majority of our endeavors, the consistent application of timeless, universal, and self-evident principles like courage, commitment, loyalty, and perseverance will rarely cause us to fall short of crossing through the valley and reaching the next mountain top in our journey.   

Below are a few suggestions around these principles to support moving through the valley and up to the next mountain top:

1. Set Priorities: We cannot do everything.  Be very selective and declare a clear “yes” or a clear “no” so our energy can be channeled into a few really important goals.
2. Be Intentional: “Winging it” or “going with the flow” is not an effective strategy. We need to be intentional about outlining the direction we are heading and the habits we need to keep moving forward. 
3. Develop Effective Habits: This should be the mechanical process of day in and day out developing the thoughts, decisions and actions that will deliver on our plan. Our habits will help keep us heading in the right direction when we are in the darkness of the valley.

We will all have our share of valley moments throughout life.  However, when our habits (thoughts, decisions, and actions) are guided by principles like perseverance, commitment, loyalty, and sacrifice, we build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity to move through the valleys and achieve that next milestone in our journey.

The smorgasbord concept became a part of the American restaurant scene after the Swedish brought this part of their culture to the 1939 New York World’s Fair.  Most baby boomer generation families will remember the original all you can eat concept as the smorgasbord.  Somewhere over the last 30 years or so, the term smorgasbord has been replaced by the All You Can Eat buffet in our current vernacular. 

Regardless of the term we use, the all you can eat buffet concept is still with us today.  What a wonderful blessing.  I can eat all I want of a variety of foods: fruits, vegetables, meats, breads, soups, and of course, desserts, for just one low price.  In addition, the different likes and dislikes of everyone in the group are seamlessly addressed and there are almost no complaints about the choices.

Unfortunately, we all know what often happens at the buffet.  We eat way too much.  We regret the choices we made as we walk out the door and uncomfortably squeeze into the car for the drive home.

In today’s world, we have a virtual smorgasbord in every area of our lives.  The old style industrial concept of whoever is in power determines what styles are stocked on store shelves, music stores, bookstores, and certainly what we watch on television, has been flattened with the efficiencies of point and click convenience in today’s world.

We all can get what we want, when we want it, often for prices that seem unbelievably low…many times for free.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, the “all you can eat” lifestyle presents us with some challenges to ensure we don’t overeat in too many areas and to ensure we take full advantage of the opportunities to customize and support our own unique style.

Here are a few thoughts to help guide us as we walk up and down the smorgasbord table of today’s reality:

• Choices. The number of options in life has exploded.  We can start our “dream” business overnight with an easy to build website.  We can customize the sneakers we buy.  We can watch our favorite TV show when we want to watch it.  We can go to classes at Harvard online for free.  Now, more than ever, we have to determine priorities and make choices. “Winging it” with all of the opportunities available to us today, will cause most of us to overeat everywhere and regret not making specific choices.
• Responsibility. With choices, comes responsibility.  We can no longer say, “Well, I just did not have the opportunity.”  We are no longer confined to what is on a store shelf to get what best fits our unique style. We are no longer confined to the public library or an expensive degree program to get a formal education.  When we overeat at the dessert table instead of eating some fruits and vegetables, we can’t play the blame game.
• Individuality. Many times in life, our unique talents, gifts, and desires get minimized in the mass production model of our industrialized world.  We picked certain careers based on what we saw around us and some perceived set of expectations.  We wore the clothes that seemed to help us fit into those expectations and through it all, we have minimized our own uniqueness. Today’s “all you can eat” opportunities give us a chance to re-birth our uniqueness in areas of work, family, fashion, and culture. We all should do a little soul searching to make sure we did not lose who we are based on some past confinements.  We should exercise the courage to be ourselves. 
• Time. We all have some uncommitted time. Time when we are not on the job or at school, taking care of critical responsibilities at home, or working in some other area of service.  With today’s “all you can eat” entertainment offerings, we run the risk of overeating on entertainment under the concept of just needing some time to chill out, veg out, or honestly admitting to wanting to be a coach potato for the evening.  Our point and click entertainment choices combined with everyone’s personal electronic devices presents a unique and complex challenge to “family time” being customized to everyone going into their corner of the room with their own entertainment device.  The entertainment industry no longer controls a limited offering of watching Walter Cronkite deliver the evening news or I Love Lucy to make us laugh.  We all need to be vigilant to ensure we use our uncommitted time wisely and keep some family time as “together time.” 

With today’s “all you can eat” lifestyle, if we don’t guide our thoughts, decisions, and actions with principles like moderation, self-control, and discipline, we will soon realize that we can’t make pants or belts big enough to contain our habits.  However, when we effectively leverage these principles, combined with cultivating our own uniqueness, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity for us to learn, grow, and have a positive impact on those around us. 

I am sure we can all relate to the strategy of cramming to study for that big end of semester exam.  We kind of paid attention throughout the semester, but in the end, we believed an all-night session of studying will be an effective option to make up for a semester in which we did not give our full attention.

More often than not, we probably found that despite all the warnings of how ineffective the cramming strategy was to learning, cramming for an exam seemed to result in the outcome we needed for the moment in that we passed the test. 

Unfortunately for many of us, we continually employ the cramming strategy we learned in school to solve many of life’s pressing challenges.  We cram in a great deal of catching up on relationships with that much needed date night and family vacation to shore up those critical, close relationships.  We provide the all-encompassing life skills motivational speech as we prepare children to leave the home for summer camp, college, or to move out on their own.  We have that upcoming class reunion, wedding, or annual health check-up and we figure we can starve our way into losing that much needed weight in the last few weeks before the event.  

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, it is important that we face the reality that we will fall short of our full potential if we deploy the cramming strategy to the really important things in life.

• Building and sustaining a healthy relationship is not built on that one weekend get-away to rekindle love and caring.
• Preparing children for life outside of “home sweet home” is not accomplished in a 15 minute send-off speech prior to that all too sudden good-bye.
• Maintaining optimal health is not accomplished with the occasional crash diet and two week exercise routine.
• Achieving financial freedom is not established through that one great idea for a get rich quick scheme.

The really important things in life will always be judged by one of the most important guiding principles of life, the Law of the Harvest. Simply, we reap what we sow.  

The law of the harvest, in the natural world, is as true as the law of gravity.  If we want to reap an abundant harvest of corn or soybeans, there is only one pathway to follow: The Law of the Harvest.  If we asked any farmer 2,000 years ago or one today in the fields of Nebraska, we would get the same general response.  There are no shortcuts to an abundant harvest. 

We cannot vacation in the spring and summer and then deploy our cramming strategy for an entire growing season in September.  There is no way to pay for the “Speed Pass” lane on the farm and there is no “Easy” button.  The natural law of the harvest will always be our judge.  Just like the law of gravity governs our eventual return to the ground no matter how high we jump, the law of the harvest governs our ability to produce our most essential food sources for life. 

The law of the harvest also governs our ability to reach our full potential in the most important areas of our lives.

When we face the reality that the cramming strategy we deployed in school will not produce the abundance we desire in the important areas of life and we being to take meaningful, consistent steps overtime to reap an abundant harvest, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity to reach our full potential and have a positive impact on those around us.

If we want to make any progress in life, we need to make decisions and take action.

Decision making around the important things in life is tough work.  It requires thinking and it requires making judgments with limited information.  At times, many of us would just prefer a checklist that requires little to no thinking and just a robotic like obedience to achieve a certain goal in life.  The reality is that the important decisions around family, education, career, and areas we choose to serve, are all complicated.  The decisions are rarely between right and wrong, they usually land somewhere between “pretty good” and “maybe a little better.”

Even though making decisions in the complex, important areas of life is not easy, one of the potential barriers to our success in the decisions we have made is the time we spend pondering what could have been with “the other choice” not taken.  The “what could have been” debate if we had taken the other path like in the Robert Frost poem, The Road Not Taken, can hinder our progress.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, how we deal with “the other choice” will be critical to our emotional health and the eventual achievement of our hopes and dreams.  

Psychologists say much of the mental strain they see today is brought on by our tendency to struggle with the “what could have been” debate in our lives.  As these were big decisions in our lives, there is most likely a fair amount of emotion and perhaps pain associated with the choices we have made in the past.

I will state the obvious – There is no rewind button or do-over rule in life.  Our capacity spent trying to hope for a rewind or a do-over is an unfortunate waste of our limited resources.  A more effective option is to productively face the “other choice” concern that we all encounter at some point in our journey.  Here are a few suggestions:

• Reality: We will never know the full outcome of “the other choice.” We have a tendency to overemphasize the potential positives, but disaster also strikes on The Road Not Taken. This is one of the great mysteries in life, we only know for sure what we have in front of us today.
• Understanding: Our most productive use of “the other choice” should be on understanding our thought process around the decisions we made at the time – What drove our decision? We will become more self-aware of our weak points and our strong points that will help us in many aspects of our life.
• Growth: We can only press the forward button in life.  There is no pause and there is no rewind.  Our most effective efforts on dealing with past decisions is to grow from them so we can apply those gains to be more effective in our present set of choices and perhaps share our learnings with those closest to us.

As we reduce the emotional burden associated with the “what could have been” debate and focus on growing based on learnings from our past decisions, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity for us to reach our full potential.