There has always been a struggle to find truth throughout human history. Whether it is fact or fiction about specific historical events, discerning scientific theory from scientific law, or the simple fact that the more we read and hear about a certain topic, it somehow magically becomes truth in our world. Even with our collective appreciation that these challenges to find truth have been around forever, it certainly seems that the struggle to find truth has become more intense in these recent times.

The pace and volume of information coming at us from all over the world and well-functioning algorithms that can channel certain messages our way leaves us somewhat punch-drunk and unable to search effectively for truth as we just simply accept or reject everything that is flooding our way as a manner of survival.

As we think about our own personal growth and development, we need to be careful that we don’t apply the same rapid, shallow triaging of information that we have become accustomed to in our present time of information overload. Given the legacy-building importance of our efforts to be our best for those we care about most, we need to be more intentional about anchoring our efforts on some universal and timeless truths that we can always count on.  

Even as we witness the pace of change continuing to accelerate all around us, we should find some peace in reinforcing a few simple truths surrounding our own personal growth and development:

1. There are no quick fixes to being our best each and every day. It takes a plan and the slow, steady effort to execute the plan. Just like the law of the harvest on a farm, we can’t day-dream all spring, goof-off all summer and then expect an abundant harvest in the fall. It takes time and effort throughout the seasons. No amount of money, brainpower, or smooth talking can bring about a quick fix to cover up some of our persistent short-comings in our behavior. We need to be committed for the long haul to be our best. 
2. We cannot reach our full potential alone. Life is strengthened through close relationships and close relationships are not easy. Those same relationships that can bring such great joy can also be the source of such great sorrow. However, as we gather up the collective wisdom of some old folks who have “been around the block a few times” we will all come to realize that it is our commitment to journey through those highs and lows in our close relationships that enables us to reach our full potential and be our best for those we care about most.

As we remain committed to making a positive impact in our home, work, and community, if we can guide our efforts on some simple, timeless truths, we will be most effective in reaching our hopes and dreams. In addition, as we take this step, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and we will set a helpful example for others that Character Creates Opportunity to reach our full potential and make a positive impact on those around us.

How can I help you today? My mobile is 269-370-9275 and my email is david@harvesttimepartners.com  

Please download some FREE resources at www.harvesttimepartners.com  I hope you will find them helpful in your journey.

Last week’s blog focused on how the typical transitions in life can be great opportunities for personal growth. When we are intentional about learning and growing instead of resisting change through these often difficult transitions, we find ourselves on an effective path to reach our full potential.

For most of us, the typical transitions in life come about by just following the crowd in the routine choices of life. Most of us simply follow the crowd. The student transitions through school years and then into the workforce. The transitions into marriage, children, and caring for aging parents all somewhat follow the flow of the typical journey of our modern life. As we discussed last week, these transitions can be difficult, but they also afford us a tremendous opportunity for personal growth.

The focus of this week’s blog is on how we can identify and create transition moments in life in order to ‘raise the bar’ in our personal growth and to provide a helping hand in getting out of a rut we have created during times we have become comfortable, settled, or perhaps just a bit complacent.

We have all heard the simple truth that “life is a journey, not a destination.” However, for most of us, it is those destination points in life (graduation, a good job, a family, a role in service to others) that pose our greatest risk of becoming complacent and settled. Our mindset becomes “I have worked hard, persevered through challenges, learned, and ‘arrived.’ Now I can take my foot off the gas and coast for a bit.” We all know that mindset is a recipe for disaster in the workplace, in maintaining a marriage, raising children, and in any other meaningful role we may play in life.

Instead of getting stuck in a rut or risk a disaster in an area of life that we genuinely care about, how can we maintain a desire for personal growth during the routine seasons of life and mimic the opportunity to grow that we find during major transition points in life?

Here are a few suggestions:
1. Accept the Reality that our current status (a good job, a committed marriage, emotionally healthy children) is at risk if we are not intentional about our own growth. Will Rogers said it best, “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” We are at risk the moment we feel we “arrived” on the fresh side of a typical transition point in life.

2. Clarify Intentions. It is important that we clearly decide what we want to become and how we want to act in the many roles we play. “Winging it” sounds cool on the dance floor, but in the really important things in life, we will fall way short of our potential without being intentional with our efforts.

3. Leverage the natural rhythms of life as fresh starts to make incremental changes to improve. Routine points in the year like the start of summer break, going back to school, the New Year, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, even “Mondays” can be extremely practical and relevant times to declare a fresh start on making a small, incremental change to reach a new goal.

4. Sustainability. For many of these typical transition points in life, we are in it for the long haul. We don’t start and then stop being a parent, or being a son or daughter, and most of us will be “working” at something throughout our lives. Marriages, well sometimes that may be a different story for a host of reasons, but our original intention is to be in it for the long haul. We have all probably experienced times when we tried to make massive changes in some area of our lives after attending a “pump-up” motivational event, “re-dedicated” our efforts to something, or a genuinely significant life event (sickness, family break-up, job loss etc.) caused us to “wake up” and try to get on the right track. The data would demonstrate that massive life changing plans usually are not sustainable for any of us over the long haul. What seems to work best is making small, incremental change over time that builds momentum for us to sustain heading in the right direction over the long haul. Decide on small changes and start making progress.

5. The Crowd We Keep. We often tell our kids how important it is that they hang out with the “right” crowd, not the “wrong” crowd, because for most of us, we follow the crowd. As adults, we don’t always take our own advice. We should seek to connect with those who are encouraging and supportive of heading down an effective path vs. those who bring negativity and apathy on any path. Find the “right” crowd and stick with them, just like we tell our kids.

Like most things in life, the choice is ours. We can become set in our ways and find we have created a rut (or worse a coffin with the ends kicked out) that limits our potential. Or we can ignite a spark of change during the routine seasons of life so we can continue to grow and reach our full potential. As we decide to continue to move forward in growth, we build and strengthen our character and realize the truth that Character Creates Opportunity to reach our full potential and make a positive impact on those around us.

As we continue on our own personal journey to build and strengthen our character, the topics for the next two blog posts will be around the important opportunity for our personal growth that comes in the form of transitions in life.  In today’s update, we will focus on transitions in the typical seasons of life.  Next week, we will focus on the need to create transition moments in life in order to continue to raise the bar in our personal growth or as a helping hand to get out of a rut we have created during the somewhat steady, routine seasons of life.

Psychologists, counselors, and a fair amount of academic research would indicate that transitions in life can be a major source of stress and anxiety.

As students, there is the stress of transitioning from middle school to high school and high school to college and/or the workplace.

As adults, the transition of single life to married life, married life to life with children, and then the reversal of roles as children transition to take care of aging parents.

In the workplace, we see transitions happen with new leaders joining the team, promotions or downsizing, acquisitions, new markets we enter, etc. that all bring about stress and strain in the workplace.

Over a few generations, we have seen our communities in transition from relative safe-havens to places where metal detectors greet us in schools and public buildings and the thought of a child riding a bike across town makes us anxious.

The stress and strain in these transitions is typically unavoidable for most of us.

However, with a slight shift in mindset, these transitions offer tremendous opportunity to grow and reach our full potential.  The mindset shift occurs when we acknowledge three simple truths (1) There will be periods of pain and discomfort in all transitions (2) There is truly no way to turn back the clock to the way things were as life is always moving forward whether we acknowledge it or not (3) Embracing these inevitable transitions opens a door to reach our full potential.

Once we make this mindset shift, the benefits to our own personal growth and to the positive impact we can have on those around us is tremendous.  When we are intentional about learning and growing through these typical transitions in life we will:

(1)    Gain a broader perspective:  As we transition through new experiences, we develop a greater understanding of other people’s points of view, experiences, and approaches which expands our thoughts and improves our decision-making ability.

(2)    Build resilience and strength for the future:  Life will never be free of transitions.  We can have confidence in knowing that as we grow through this current transition, we will become stronger and more resilient to deal with the next challenge in our journey.

(3)    Get a chance to push the “reset” button:  Let’s face it…we all make mistakes.  When we walk through these major life transitions, we are afforded the opportunity “start again” with the benefits of past learnings to guide us to more effective choices in our new roles and relationships.

In dealing with the typical transitions in life, the choice is ours.  We can go “kicking and screaming” through these transitions, or we can embrace the chance to build and strengthen our character and realize the truth that Character Creates Opportunity® to reach our full potential.

Last week, in Part I of the Steps to Effectiveness, we addressed the need to be a life-long learner.

We are all working hard to be more effective in the roles we play in the home, at work, and in the community. There is an ever-present need to improve our game in order to be our best for those we care about most in a world that is no longer simple and predictable.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, it is critical that we understand the basic steps to being more effective in the roles we play and maintain some degree of momentum in order to make progress towards reaching our goals.

In Part II of the Steps to Effectiveness, we will address the need to be a life-long relationship builder.

Life is meant to be lived in relationship with others. Scientific evidence demonstrates that we become unhealthy when we are all alone. Practical evidence in our own lives demonstrates that when we complete a career journey or some major milestone of life, we remember the people, not the product or the tangible items or even the money. We remember the people that impacted our journey.

The challenge for all of us is that relationships with real people are not easy. The old saying, “Can’t live with them and can’t live without them” is often the emotional reality faced in many relationships. Things in life that are important are rarely easy and building healthy relationships is on the top of the “difficult list.” Building healthy relationships with others takes intentional effort over the long haul. The reality for many is that often our most challenging life-long relationships are those within our own home.

We hear quite often today about the search for our own personal happiness. Gandhi made a valuable point when he said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Serving others is the foundation for healthy relationships and Gandhi was also making a point that being a life-long relationship builder is the surest pathway to find peace and joy within oneself.

Given the growing complexity of the world around us, we need to be life-long relationship builders in order to build a community that can support each other in reaching our full potential. We see clearly the opportunity and the possibility more than obstacles when we can count on each other.    

As we apply effort and a steady commitment to becoming a life-long relationship builder, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity to be more effective in the important roles we play at home, work, and in the community.

To summarize Part I and Part II, being a life-long learner and a life-long relationship builder are the two pillars of a fulfilling life. Keep moving forward on both.

We are all working hard to be more effective in the roles we play in the home, at work, and in the community. There is an ever-present need to improve our game in order to be our best for those we care about most in a world that is no longer simple and predictable.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, it is critical that we understand the basic steps to being more effective in the roles we play and maintain some degree of momentum in order to make progress towards reaching our goals.

In part I of the Steps to Effectiveness, we will address the need to be a life-long learner.

For many of us, we have continued to learn to use more advanced technology in all areas of our lives. Even the simple task of finding something to watch on TV has resulted in us learning to use a massive remote control with enough buttons to launch a rocket. We continue to learn through software upgrades on how to use our smart phones, drive our cars, and manage our finances.

Although we may complain and struggle a bit, we have all managed to be life-long learners in the technologies we use in our lives in order to be more effective.

An important question to ask ourselves is, what is holding us back in applying as much energy and steady commitment to be a life-long learner in the important roles we play in the home, at work, and in our community?

Given the growing complexity of the world around us, we need to be life-long learners in order to more effective in the important roles we play. The comment that “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” should have no place in our minds as we strive to be our best for those we care about most.   

Here some thoughts to keep building the momentum to be a life-long learner in order to be more effective in the important areas of our lives:

• We are all clearly capable of continuing to learn, even after we graduate from school. The simple use of technology in our lives demonstrates we can learn new things if we choose to do so. Making the choice to be a life-long learner in the important areas of life is simply the right thing to do.
• We will fail and fall short of some goals in life. As a life-long learner, we should view failures or falling short of goals as an opportunity to learn as oppose to a reinforcement that we are not good enough or not capable enough to make a positive difference. Learning helps us grow to be more effective next time.
• We all have influence on those around us, whether we acknowledge it or not. As we commit to be a life-long learner and become more effective in the roles we play, we set a great example for those we care about most.

As we apply effort and a steady commitment to becoming a life-long learner, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity to be more effective in the important roles we play at home, work, and in the community.

There is no doubt that life is complicated and often messy in the home, at work, and in the community.

When there seems to be a never-ending cycle of uncertainty in important areas of our lives, we could benefit from universal and timeless truth to help us keep moving forward in a world that can sometimes leave us dazed and confused.

A simple reminder of truth today is that we become what we think about…we become what we “see” in our mind’s eye. Whether we subscribe to the teachings of some famous personal development guru, some “enlightened” individual, or we believe in the Book of Proverbs that says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he” our take-away is the same. Regardless of our reference point, the truth remains, we become what we “see” in our mind’s eye.

We don’t need a PhD in psychology from a prestigious university, to be a member of the 1% or the 99% in terms of financial wealth, or to sit in a corner office to understand the simple, timeless, and universal truth that we become what we see in our mind’s eye. We could reference numerous academic studies, cite quotes from individuals who have had real impact in our world, or think back along our own experience, and the conclusion would be the same…what I dwell on in my mind, so much so that it becomes crystal clear, I become.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, an important question we need to ask ourselves is, “What do I ‘see’ today?” In our own mind’s eye, not in the view of a spouse, a parent, a boss, a teacher, a TV broadcaster, a mentor, but what do we “see” in our own view?

Do we see adversity that we cannot overcome? Do we see relationships that are best to be broken instead of repaired and strengthened?

Or…

Do we see an opportunity to rise above? Do we see challenge and a view of overcoming? Do we see the reality of close relationships struggling in the near term, but in the long view, see love, forgiveness, and togetherness?

Do we see a business with present-day challenges, but opportunity on the horizon? Do we see communities divided, but a pathway to cooperation and support?

Or…Do we just see dark clouds all around us?

Each one of us has the freedom to choose what we see in our own mind’s eye. However, the truth is that even with the freedom to choose, there are moments of some really dark days where we all could use an encouraging nudge to help us move off the negative and focus on the positive. I hope this note can be the push you need (or the loving shove if necessary) to choose the positive viewpoint over the negative.  

What do you “see” today?

In our present time of challenge, it would be helpful to remember the simple truth that we become what we see in our mind’s eye and ensure our lens is adjusted to see our present challenges as an opportunity to overcome and reach our full potential as individuals, families, and communities.

As we remind ourselves to refocus our mind’s eye with principles, like patience, perseverance, and hope, we build and strengthen our character, and Character Creates Opportunity for us to create the future we desire and rise to reach our full potential.

If we are being honest with ourselves, we can all acknowledge some challenges that come about with close relationships in the home, at work, and in the community. Life gets complicated and often messy when it comes to our close relationships.

The bookshelves of the local library, bookstore, and the virtual shelves of Amazon are filled with books containing all sorts of tips and techniques to help us build better relationships with those we care about most. The resources help us have difficult conversations, help us appreciate each other’s differences, and help us find moments of joy in the daily grind we may find ourselves in.

Many times, we over-complicate things.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, we can simplify our approach and take a few small steps each day to make a big, positive difference in the relationships that matter most to each of us.

These small steps don’t require a PhD in psychology, attendance at a weekend conference, or a life-coach to keep us on track. We can handle most of these ourselves.

1. A simple smile…instead of a frown. Just the casual glance accompanied by a nice smile can consistently lift the spirits of the other person and provide a positive boost to the relationship.
2. A simple word of encouragement…instead of judgment (from our limited point of view). Comments like “I believe in you” and “you’ve got this” can make a big difference with someone facing a difficult decision.
3. A simple touch…instead of a cold shoulder. The warmth of a touch on the shoulder or a hug kicks off a wave of biochemical reactions in the body that has been demonstrated to boost our immune system, fight depression, and break down huge relationship barriers that most likely were created by a poor choice of words in the heat of the moment.
4. Put the phone away and look someone in the eye. No need to explain this further.    

A popular Swedish proverb is a helpful reminder of the importance of being our best with those we care about most: “Shared joy is double joy; Shared sorrow is half a sorrow.”

When we consistently take some small steps to build healthy relationships, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity for us to have a positive impact on those around us.

The smorgasbord concept became a part of the American restaurant scene after the Swedish brought this part of their culture to the 1939 New York World’s Fair.  Most baby boomer generation families will remember the original all you can eat concept as the smorgasbord.  Somewhere over the last 30 years or so, the term smorgasbord has been replaced by the All You Can Eat buffet in our current vernacular.  

Regardless of the term we use, the all you can eat buffet concept is still with us today.  What a wonderful blessing.  I can eat all I want of a variety of foods: fruits, vegetables, meats, breads, soups, and of course, desserts, for just one low price.  In addition, the different likes and dislikes of everyone in the group are seamlessly addressed and there are almost no complaints about the choices.

Unfortunately, we all know what often happens at the buffet.  We eat way too much.  We regret the choices we made as we walk out the door and uncomfortably squeeze into the car for the drive home.

In today’s world, we have a virtual smorgasbord in every area of our lives.  The old-school industrial concept of whoever is in power determines what styles are stocked on store shelves, music stores, bookstores, and certainly what we watch on television, has been flattened with the efficiencies of point and click convenience in today’s world.

We all can get what we want, when we want it, often for prices that seem unbelievably low…many times for free.

As we continue to build and strengthen our character, the “all you can eat” lifestyle presents us with some challenges to ensure we don’t overeat in too many areas and to ensure we take full advantage of the opportunities to customize and support our own unique style.

Here are a few ideas to help guide us as we walk up and down the smorgasbord table of today’s reality:

1. Choices.  The number of options in life has exploded.  We can start our “dream” business overnight with an easy to build website.  We can customize the sneakers we buy.  We can watch our favorite TV show when we want to watch it.  We can go to classes at Harvard online for free.  Now, more than ever, we have to determine priorities and make choices. “Winging it” with all of the opportunities available to us today, will cause most of us to overeat everywhere and regret not making specific choices.
2. Responsibility.  With choices, comes responsibility.  We can no longer say, “Well, I just did not have the opportunity.”  We are no longer confined to what is on a store shelf to get what best fits our unique style. We are no longer confined to the public library or an expensive degree program to get a formal education.  When we overeat at the dessert table instead of eating some fruits and vegetables, we can’t play the blame game.
3. Individuality.  Many times in life, our unique talents, gifts, and desires get minimized in the mass production model of our industrialized world.  We picked certain careers based on what we saw around us and some perceived set of expectations.  We wore the clothes that seemed to help us fit into those expectations and through it all, we have minimized our own uniqueness. Today’s “all you can eat” opportunities give us a chance to re-birth our uniqueness in areas of work, family, fashion, and culture. We all should do a little soul searching to make sure we did not lose who we are based on some past confinements.  We should exercise the courage to be ourselves. 
4. Time.  We all have some uncommitted time. Time when we are not on the job or at school, taking care of critical responsibilities at home, or working in some other area of service. With today’s “all you can eat” entertainment offerings, we run the risk of overeating on entertainment under the concept of just needing some time to chill out, veg out, or honestly admitting to wanting to be a coach potato for the evening.  Our point and click entertainment choices combined with everyone’s personal electronics presents a unique and complex challenge to “family time” being customized to everyone going into their corner of the room with their own entertainment device.  The entertainment industry no longer controls a limited offering of watching Walter Cronkite deliver the evening news or I Love Lucy to make us laugh.  We all need to be vigilant to ensure we use our uncommitted time wisely and keep some family time as “together time.”  

With today’s “all you can eat” lifestyle, if we don’t guide our thoughts, decisions, and actions with principles like moderation, self-control, and discipline, we will soon realize that we can’t make pants or belts big enough to contain our habits.  When we effectively leverage these principles, combined with cultivating our own uniqueness, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity for us to learn, grow, and have a positive impact on those around us.