There is a great deal written about, discussed, and testimonies given about the various disappoints, discomforts, and sufferings we endure during our journey of life.

Some of these are relatively light-hearted sufferings like a missed plane, a canceled meeting, the consistently late cable-guy, or the important phone call that was dropped while navigating a big city traffic jam.

However, many of us would classify some sufferings as almost too much to endure, like the untimely death of a loved one, a parent holding the hand of a terminally ill child, the heartbreaking destruction of a once close family, or the addiction that resulted in a tragic ending.

Although we all hope to avoid a great deal of pain and suffering in this world, the reality is that we all will endure our share of suffering.  Most of us will find a way to carry-on, some in silence and some with a loud roar.  There is no escaping disappoint, discouragement, and suffering.  Our typical pathway to addressing suffering is to rally our own strength, perhaps we are fortunate to gain some encouragement from others close to us, and we endure the journey with the hope that we will somehow continue to grow stronger through the experience.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, it is helpful to highlight another side of suffering.  The other side of suffering is an opportunity to grow in empathy towards the suffering of others in order to be a genuine and relevant source of comfort to those in need.

When we walk through the valley of suffering, as opposed to growing bitter or spending too much precious energy on the endless wondering of “why me?”, we have an opportunity to deeply understand the suffering of others and proactively reach out to help others find comfort in their own troubled time.

There is often no greater connection that can be made with someone suffering through a difficult family experience than one who has also walked through that experience.  Those who have endured the financial hardship of a painful bankruptcy are often the most effective in guiding others through the experience of rebuilding their credit and confidence.  Who better to support and encourage someone struggling with addiction than someone who has walked down that same road?

Those who have endured a particular hardship are very often the most helpful to relate to the needs of those dealing with a similar struggle.  The other side of suffering can be an opportunity to build and strengthen our character and have a positive impact on others when we:

1. Make the choice to grow in empathy towards the suffering of others as opposed to growing bitter through our own experience.
2. Act on an opportunity to make a connection with someone who is enduring a similar struggle to our own.
3. Grow stronger, not just by enduring our own struggle, but also by the truth that being a comfort to others in need grows our own capacity to live a more abundant life.

As we leverage the experience of our own suffering to help others in need, we build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to have a positive impact in this world.

Throughout history, our time and attention are drawn towards those who are out in front making the headlines, giving the speeches, and closing the big deal.  Many times, those exalted as innovators, brilliant, effective leaders, or the ones making things happen, are often seen as being larger than life compared to the rest of us.

Most of us are not in the spotlight, on the stage, being interviewed by the reporter, or standing in the ribbon cutting line.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, today’s note is about the important role most of us play, the role of assisting others to reach their full potential.

The history books that document mankind’s achievements or the scrapbook that documents the achievements made within our families may leave the “assistants” out of the biographies.  However, the reality is that the lives of those who have public or private impact are most often filled with others assisting them in their efforts.

We all know well the inventions and legacy of Thomas Edison.  However, we probably don’t know William Hammer who was Edison’s chief engineer responsible for most of the work at the Edison Lamp Company or Frank Sprague who was the mathematician behind critical steps in the electric lighting system.  These assistants helped Edison reach his full potential.

We can probably name the head coach of our favorite football team, but I bet we struggle to name the offensive line coach who is often responsible for building the group of linemen who clear the path for the running back to get on the cover of a sports magazine.

Behind every well performing leader in business, there is always an assistant who makes sure things get done.  Behind every sales position in an organization, there is usually a team of assistants making sure expectations are met.  These assistants most often do not take the stage at the Million Dollar Round Table banquet, but without them, top performance is not possible.

Truth be told, our most underappreciated examples of honorable, quiet assistants occur with those closest to us in our homes and extended family.  It is these assistants that form the backbone of health and safety in our communities and our nation.  The service of one spouse to another, of a parent to a child, siblings to each other, and the service of children reversing roles to assist elderly parents makes all the difference in building a strong family.

If it weren’t for the honorable and principled assistants, we would all be in a difficult position.  The history books and our discussions at family gatherings may leave them out, but they are a critical element to purpose and accomplishment.

An important reality to accept, sooner rather than later, is that a passionate, purposeful life is not about personal achievement, rather it is about helping others reach their full potential.

Our efforts to faithfully play our role, which most likely will not make the headlines, will help to build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® for us to assist others in helping them reach their full potential.

Mistakes…We all make them. Spoiler alert…We will all continue to make them.

As kids, we make mistakes in the classroom and get red ink all over our assignments.  We make a mistake on the field and our opponent scores.  We certainly make mistakes with friends and family as we grow during those difficult adolescent years.

As adults, we continue to make mistakes.  We make mistakes at work and the business may lose money, manufacture a defective product, or lose a customer.  In relationships, we make some big mistakes around promises made and not kept.  We speak-up when we should shut-up and shut-up when we should speak-up.  We make mistakes with our use of time and money.

Whether we are a child or an adult, mistakes hurt.

For most of us, our mindset is to view mistakes as bad and something to avoid.  Mistakes are an inevitable part of life. Mistakes are a necessary part of learning.  Psychologists and researchers would tell us that almost all of life’s learnings come from mistakes.

Mistakes are the gateway to personal growth.

As we continue to build and strengthen our character, learning to more effectively deal with mistakes will help us reach our full potential. 

If we are honest with ourselves, the majority of us gravitate towards ease and comfort when things are going well.  We only learn and grow through struggles and tough times. 

• On the athletic field, we learn a great deal more when we lose, than when we win.
• In school, we learn and grow more when we see red ink on our papers.
• In business, we learn and grow a great deal more when we miss our objectives, than when we hit our numbers.
• In relationships, we have a tendency to take things for granted when there is a sense of harmony and we are only open to learning and growth when doors get slammed, tempers flare, and we reach a breaking point.

When we view mistakes only as bad and something to avoid, we inhibit learning and experimentation, and suppress new ideas that could potentially trigger breakthroughs in the home, the workplace, and our communities.

Here are just a few thoughts on how we can build and strengthen our character through the unavoidable encounter with mistakes throughout our journey of life:

1. Commit to Learn: When we make mistakes, take on the mindset of learning and growth vs. anger and regret.  We will make mistakes.  As long as we live, we will keep making mistakes.  Commit to learn something and keep moving forward.
2. Commit to Encourage: When others close to us make mistakes, act to encourage learning and growth vs bringing additional pain.  They will most likely experience plenty of personal “pain and suffering” without us adding more salt to the wound.  Offering a word of encouragement to learn and grow through a mistake will build trust, avoid shame, and dismantle fear which will help to strengthen the relationship.

As we begin to view mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to improve relationships and achieve the results we desire.

There comes a point in time in every long term relationship, every major work endeavor, every pursuit of a life-long dream, and each time we attempt to make a change in our own behavior, when quitting starts to look good.  When we question the original choice we made and we look for a way out.

The excitement surrounding the start of a new journey carries us for quite a while and then, when the really hard work begins, our internal voice starts to ask a few questions.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, making effective choices when our commitment begins to falter will help us in the journey to reach our full potential.

We all are very familiar with the motivational stories like Abraham Lincoln overcoming numerous personal, business, and political failures before finally becoming the President of the United States.  We probably all have a few motivational quotes either on a wall or stuffed in some drawer that help to serve as a reminder of what it takes to overcome struggles.  We all need good reminders.

Many times, we become enamored by the story and the ultimate outcome.  However, more important than the outcome, are the small acts done day by day.  The commitment to show up every day is the real strength of the story.

When we commit to a decision, we will have moments (maybe years of moments) when we don’t feel like doing it, when we may believe it was a poor choice.  But, when our commitment remains day in and day out, the opportunities to learn, grow, and overcome show up also.  Just showing up every day is the “wisdom” that gets lost in the popular stories about overcoming.    

As we learn and grow, goals will change over time.  The situation may require a different set of decisions as we navigate the journey, but what matters is that we climbed back into the ring each and every day, whether we felt like it or not.  Just showing up and staying in the game is often what makes all the difference in the world.

Here are just a few points to consider when our commitment begins to falter:

1. We are all in the same boat. Anyone who has ever made a decision to commit to a goal worthy of effort has encountered a moment when quitting looks like an attractive option.
2. Achieving the goal is not the only celebratory moment. What is worth celebrating is the day in and day out commitment to show up and do the work required.  Climbing back in the ring each day is worthy of recognition.
3. Opportunity shows up, when we show up. So, more times than not, the most effective choice we can all make is to keep showing up each and every day.

There will be moments when our commitment begins to falter.  However, when we make the simple decision to keep showing up, we will gather momentum behind our commitment.  We will continue to build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to reach our full potential and accomplish the worthy goals we set. 

There is an interesting trend in our world that is being played out in a number of areas of our lives.  We have developed a seemingly insatiable need to have different viewpoints of the same situation.  We have come to the realization that there is advantage is having a variety of points of view of the same situation.

For example, over the last 10+ years we have seen an explosion of the number of camera angles and well positioned coaches throughout a stadium to gain a certain vantage point of the field of play.  As coaches and fans, we understand the more points of view we have, the more effective we can be in determining the right decision by a referee or the right play to call.  Multiple vantage points help us to be a more effective on the field of play.

We see a similar trend in business today.

• Customers: Enormous planning, effort, and expense is allocated towards trying to understand the different viewpoints of customers. We generate enormous amounts of data as we electronically monitor behaviors and seek out attitudes at different points in the customer experience.  There is incredible advantage in building a brand or growing a business when we better understand the different viewpoints.
• Employees: Leaders of business see significant value in gaining different points of view of employees. Understanding what a team is seeing in the warehouse, compared to a sales team, compared to customer service is extremely beneficial to leaders running a business.  These various points of view are the life-blood of building a sustainable and successful business.

We could go on and on about this same trend seen across the wide spectrum of life from the tactics of modern warfare to the advances in education.  Gaining different viewpoints enables us to develop a better understanding and a more effective plan to accomplish our objectives.

The irony found in this insatiable trend to gain greater understanding in areas such as business, athletics, modern warfare, and education, is that on a more personal social level, the results would show that we are still reluctant to do the hard work of understanding different viewpoints of those closest to us in our homes and in our community.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, making the effort and commitment to see the viewpoint of others, especially those closest to us, will help our relationships and raise the bar on our impact.

Social observers, licensed psychologists, and religious leaders would say that on our day to day personal interactions, the vast majority of our energy is spent communicating our point of view with little effort spent on understanding the point of view of others.

An important aspect in our personal growth and development is when we expend greater effort trying to gain the perspective and understanding of others as opposed to getting them to understand us.  Relationships are strengthened when we genuinely understand the different viewpoints of others.

Here are just a few practical steps to help in seeing things from the viewpoint of others:

1. Our first step in an apparent disagreement should be to gain understanding, not in firming up our defenses.
2. Focus on listening by removing the egotistical expectation of delivering a “brilliant” response.
3. Genuinely try to walk in the other person’s experience and empathize with their point of view.
4. Begin to communicate our point of view only when we gain a sense that the other person acknowledges our effort to understand them.

Those same social observers, licensed psychologists, and religious leaders would say that their collective experience in studying relationships would prove that most disagreements and conflicts on a personal level are due to misunderstanding and a lack of empathy.  Both of which are choices we can make to be more effective in building stronger, healthier relationships.

As we translate the trends we see in sports and business to our own life by working hard to gather the different viewpoints of those around us, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to have a greater impact on the people in our homes and our community.

 

The local book stores and web-pages on Amazon contain countless resources offering advice on how we can build better relationships.  Some are complicated with academic theory and no practical application.  Some are just the latest well-packaged marketing effort from some media company and others offer genuine value to those looking for some help in a time of real need.

As we all look to build and maintain health relationships, in the home, workplace and community, the importance of touch does not get a great deal of attention in our world and is only now beginning to gain some traction within published, academic research.  As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, an opportunity that we do not want to miss is the positive outcomes that result from touch that can build, strengthen, and heal relationships.

We are all well aware of the physical bonding that happens between a loving parent and a young child.  There is a strong body of evidence to suggest that loving, physical contact at the early stages of a child’s life are critical to a child’s physical, mental, and emotional health.  There is a great deal of documentation on the steep rise in infant morbidity and mortality when there is a lack of loving, physical contact during the early development years that has been seen in orphanages around the world.

The reality is that beyond our infant years, we have a tendency to disregard the emotional and physical benefits that result from touch despite the growing body of research that suggests touch is fundamental to communication, relationships, and overall health.  Michelangelo said, “To touch is to give life” and there is growing recognition that touch is our primary means for communicating compassion.

This message is not some weird call to start grabbing each other.  However, there are many of us who have grown up in western culture where consistent, supportive touch has been so confined to early childhood that we are missing a key element to build, strengthen, and heal our most important relationships.  There are studies that show touch signals safety and trust which are foundational to healthy relationships.  When we take an honest assessment of the relationships we value the most, whether they are struggling or not, we will most likely find we are missing the benefits of a warm, supportive touch on a consistent basis.

This message is not just for the home.  Even if we were fortunate to grow up in a home where touch was reinforced throughout our lives in support of healthy relationships, chances are that societal pressures probably got the best of us in school and work where a supportive pat on the shoulder is sometimes considered out of line.  Studies have shown that teachers who provide a friendly tap on the shoulder increase student engagement and learning.  In my own professional journey, I have seen the benefits that a supportive touch on the shoulder can communicate straight to the heart of an individual that they “belong on the team” and that we will work together to deliver results.  It is unfortunate that some foolish, out of hand behavior makes the headlines in work and school which increases our collective resistance to providing the benefits of a supportive, helpful touch.

Below are two considerations with regards to the importance of touch and our character:

1. “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” (thanks to Ben Franklin). Many of us maybe talking and acting in a very supportive and encouraging way in our close relationships. However, statistics will show that for most of us, a consistent, supportive touch is not part of the equation.  Given the well-documented benefits to our physical, mental, and emotional health and to the health of the relationship, start being intentional about adding a supportive touch to the mix as it will build relationship strength to help overcome the inevitable challenges that relationships bring throughout life.  Start in the home and then build some courage to take it elsewhere.
2. When relationships are struggling, there is most definitely an absence of touch. Whether it is the struggles of a parent-child relationship, the routine friction between spouses, or ‘the big mistake’ that created a fracture between close friends, a close touch seems to be a distant memory during the struggles of every day relationships.  A warm, loving touch should be part of our tool box to bring healing and health back to the relationship.  An authentic, genuine embrace can open the door to health more effectively than words and time.  Also, if you happen to be on the receiving end of an embrace to heal a troubled relationship, don’t resist, reciprocate the embrace and you will both be better off for the touch.

As we demonstrate the courage to incorporate touch into our most valued relationships, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to improve the health of our relationships and set a great example for those around us.

There is no doubt that we live in a complicated world that seems to steadily grow in complexity and intensity.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character in order to reach our full potential, there are points in time when we just need a simple reminder of truth to help us carry on.  When there seems to be a never-ending cycle of uncertainty around the globe, in our communities and in our homes, we all could benefit from a reminder of universal, timeless, and self-evident truth to help us keep moving forward in a world that can sometimes leave us dazed and confused.

A simple reminder of truth today is that we become what we think about…we become what we “see” in our mind’s eye.  Whether we subscribe to the teachings of some famous personal development guru, some “enlightened” individual, or we believe in the Book of Proverbs that says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he” our take-away is the same.  Regardless of our reference point, the truth remains, we become what we “see” in our mind’s eye.

We don’t need a PhD in psychology from a prestigious university, be a member of the 1% or the 99% in terms of financial wealth, or sit in a corner office to understand the simple, timeless, and universal truth that we become what we see in our mind’s eye.  We could reference numerous academic studies, cite quotes from individuals who have had real impact in our world, or think back along our own experience, and the conclusion would be the same…what I dwell on in my mind, so much so that it becomes crystal clear, I become.

As we build and strengthen our character, an important question we need to ask ourselves is, “What do I ‘see’ today?” In our own mind’s eye, not in the view of a spouse, a parent, a boss, a teacher, a TV broadcaster, a mentor, but what do we “see” in our own view?

Do we see adversity that we cannot overcome?  Do we see relationships that are best to be broken instead of repaired and strengthened?

Or…

Do we see an opportunity to rise above?  Do we see challenge and a view of overcoming?  Do we see the reality of close relationships struggling in the near term, but in the long view, see love, forgiveness, and togetherness?

Do we see a business with present-day challenges, but opportunity on the horizon?  Do we see communities divided, but a pathway to cooperation and support?

Or…Do we just see dark clouds all around us?

Each one of us has the freedom to choose what we see in our own mind’s eye.

What do you ‘see’ today?

In this present time of challenge in our world and in our homes, it would be helpful to remember the simple truth that we become what we see in our mind’s eye and ensure our lens is adjusted to see our present challenges as an opportunity to overcome and reach our full potential as individuals, families, and communities across the globe.

As we remind ourselves to refocus our mind’s eye with principles, like patience, perseverance, hope, and faith, we build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® for us to create the future we desire and rise up to reach our full potential.

 

 

For a variety of reasons, most of us will not have our names in the history books, the world-record books, or any other well-known document read by millions in the next 100-200 years.

Most of us have a knowledge of and maybe some vivid memories of a few key people in the generations of our past. We certainly can remember parents, grandparents, and perhaps great-grandparents, but it starts to get real fuzzy after a few generations. Depending on our level of engagement with parents and grandparents, we may have memories of their friends, maybe coworkers and bosses, but for all practical purposes, there is limited personal knowledge beyond the family tree when we go back a few generations.

So, there we have it; a practical view of being remembered and leaving a legacy is that we probably have a realistic chance that our grandchildren and maybe our great grandchildren will remember us. I can remember a great quote from Cal Ripken upon his retirement from baseball, when he was asked, “How do you want to be remembered?” Cal replied, “Just being remembered would be nice.” In many ways, a great hope for all of us would be to “just be remembered” by our grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

I doubt any of us can recall whether a great-grandparent wore fashionable clothes, drove the finest car of the day, had a great watch, or some other material possession. At most, we remember, or we were told, whether or not they were involved in their family, in their work, and in service to a cause bigger than themselves. We remember if they were kind and helpful or mean and hurtful.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character and reach our full potential, it would be great to have a few generations along the family tree not only “just remember us,” but remember us as kind, helpful, productive, and committed to our family and to a worthy cause…the things that matter most.

As we think about leaving a legacy, here are a few practical considerations:

• We need to be intentional with our efforts to leave a legacy as there is a great risk of being forgotten. Like many important endeavors, intentional effort begins with a big dream or idea, followed by the very practical steps of making a plan and then the discipline to work the plan. Leaving a legacy within our families is too important to just “wing it.”
• No matter what has happened in the past, today is the best day to start fresh and moving forward to create the legacy we desire.
• As the saying goes, our thoughts turn into actions; our actions turn into habits; our habits develop our character; and our character becomes our legacy. Leaving a legacy starts in our thought life. When our thoughts, that drive decisions and then actions, are grounded in principles like commitment, loyalty, and sacrifice, we build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to leave the legacy we all desire.

We only have that great unknown which is “the rest of our lives” to make progress.  Enjoy the journey.

There is no denying that we have entered into the age of instant access to all types of resources to help us be more efficient and effective.  On the personal development side, there are websites that can help us be more efficient with planning schedules, meals, vacations, and just about anything else.  There is also no shortage of books or consultants we could employ to help us in everything we do.

There is one critical area that often gets overlooked on a very personal level in families and close relationships.  The courage to ask for help is often times what separates a willing helper from a person in genuine need of help.

As we build and strengthen our character, it is the courage to ask for help that can create massive momentum in strengthening our close relationships and having a positive impact to overcome some area of struggle in our lives.

We could spend a great deal of time discussing why we don’t ask for help, but suffice to say, many of us do not reach out for help when we truly need it.  We typically march on until disaster strikes and our cover-up has lost its effectiveness.

It may not be what we see on the news or read on the internet, but I am a firm believer that in most of our homes, schools, neighborhoods, and workplaces, people are genuinely willing to help someone in need.  What we all lack is someone with the courage to ask.

Yes, we all can, and need to, improve our listening skills and our ability to discern the real question behind the question or the real comment behind the comment.  However, experience would tell us that we are all very good at the “cover-up.” We are very effective at continuing to attend the costume party and wearing our best mask.

As a parent, we would give anything to hear about the real struggles of our children to offer help and assistance in overcoming a challenge.  Many times, children (of all ages) don’t ask.

As a spouse, we would benefit much more from hearing what is at the heart of the struggles that often times manifest themselves in other ways like defensiveness, stonewalling, or contempt that cover up the real need for help.  Many times, spouses don’t ask or give up after a few years of asking.

As a friend, we would open the door to much richer relationships if we went beyond the “everything is fine, things are great” comment and genuinely opened up and asked for help.  Many times, friends don’t ask.

There are a number of benefits that can come about when we have the courage to ask for help:

• We bring clarity to the need. Our relationships often wander with unproductive energy spent trying to figure out what is at the heart of the struggle or a particular behavior.
• We provide someone who wants to help with the opportunity to productively help. There is often times a willing helper without the understanding of where or how to help.
• We demonstrate to others the necessary courage to be vulnerable and ask for help. Our example will help them build courage to ask for help during their time of need…and we all have times of need.

Many times, the complexity of our lives will hinder our ability to know exactly how to describe what it is we need help with and we just know the reality that we are hurting.  A simple, soft call for “help” can open the door for a more productive discussion than simply maintaining the cover-up until disaster strikes and the costume party ends.

As we demonstrate the courage to ask for help, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to build stronger relationships with those closest to us.

Throughout the years, there has been a steady amount of academic research, business experience, and personal testimony in support of the concept that when we view our role as serving others, we form a strong foundation from which to create value.  Whether we are serving our customers, the teams we work on, members of our family, or people in our community, the idea of serving others helps strengthen our efforts to accomplish great things.

In the service of others, especially in the home, we have a clear opportunity to meet our greatest need which is to know that we matter to someone.  Even as we have an abundance of opportunity to meet this need in the home, practical experience would tell us that this need is often met on the job and in the community given the many conflicts that arise in the home.  Given the truth that no accomplishment can compensate for a failure at home, the need to sustain an attitude of service in the home is critical.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, there is an important paradox in the role of serving others in the home that we need to understand as we genuinely work to meet this important personal need of knowing that we matter to someone.

We have all heard the saying, “opposites attract.”  It is definitely true in the scientific world and it also seems very common in the human condition with finding a mate.  We see the real-life examples of this all around us:

The “organizer” who is paired with the messy and frantic.

The “stable and secure” with the chaotic and risky.

The “provider” being able to help the one in need.

The “afflicted and struggling” being supported and encouraged to change by the martyr.

We all bring certain strengths to a relationship and we use those strengths in an honest, genuine attempt to serve and help our mate.  Most healthy relationships are grounded in serving one another.  This heart-felt commitment to serve and support our mate provides the foundation for meeting our deep personal need to know we matter to someone.

Most often, we feel secure in using our strengths to serve our mate because it is a known skill for us and we are confident in our ability to deliver the service and meet the need.  We genuinely feel that by serving our mate in this way we will satisfy our own need of being wanted, needed, and appreciated.  The general expectation is that our mate will recognize our service and deliver a response that will confirm our need to know we matter.

Because of real practical differences in how we show love and appreciation and in our personalities and communication styles, the Servant’s Paradox^TM comes into play in two ways:  Many times our mate will (1) Not “see” our intent to serve and will view our efforts as belittling or demeaning and (2) If they do “see” our intent to serve, they will respond in a manner that does not resonate positively with us.  The eventual outcome is that we don’t feel appreciated and don’t meet the need to know we mattered to someone else despite all of our genuine efforts to serve.

With this clear disconnect, frustration eventual sets in.  We start to resent those qualities in our mate that we originally intended to use our strengths to serve and help.  We quit serving, contempt sets in soon after, and we start talking about “irreconcilable differences” as grounds for a break-up.

The cycle continues as we find another mate with the same gaps as our first and we faithful try again to serve with a known strength of our own.  In addition, even if we endure this disconnect with our mate, the age-old challenge of balancing effort between work and family, the Servant’s Paradox has a tendency to shift the balance over to work instead of our mate when the need to know we matter is felt greater in the workplace than on the home front.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, below are a few steps to take in addressing the Servant’s Paradox and maintaining the effort to serve:

1. Acknowledge the reality that we all have a need to know we matter to someone.
2. Appreciate the fact that each of us genuinely serves with our strengths to meet the needs of our mate.
3. Be intentional about understanding the different ways our mate feels appreciated in their commitment to serve.
4. Act on the understanding to deliver in a manner that resonates with our mate to meet the need to know they matter in our lives.
5. Keep serving. Serving others is the timeless, universal principle that will not disappoint in the long run.  It is the long run that matters.

As we continue to serve and work to effectively recognize the service of others, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® for us to sustain our efforts to serve others and we stand a great chance to meet our need to know we matter.